


Youth Over Flower

by Nebula_Ocean04



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25380505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula_Ocean04/pseuds/Nebula_Ocean04
Summary: If a demon can grant you a wish in exchange of your soul, what would you wish for?Fame? Money? Power? Youth? Beauty?Jinwoo was granted a second life he didn’t ask for. He is supposed to be happy. But an endless life does not guarantee happiness. Even when you meet the person that makes flowers bloom in your heart.
Relationships: Kang Seungyoon/Kim Jinwoo, Kim Jinwoo/Lee Seunghoon, Kim Jinwoo/Song Minho | Mino
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. MINO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If a demon can grant you a wish in exchange of your soul, what would you wish for?  
> Fame? Money? Power? Youth? Beauty?  
> Jinwoo was granted a second life he didn’t ask for. He is supposed to be happy. But an endless life does not guarantee happiness. Even when you meet the person that makes flowers bloom in your heart.

Kim Jinwoo knows he's nearing his end. He can feel it as the coldness seeps into him, numbing his senses and making it harder to drag in a breath. He can feel his life being suck out of him through a hole on his chest. It feels cold and the heavy raindrops are not helping. Death is coming for him, slowly and excruciating.

He does not know what he has done to deserve this kind of ending. All his life, he was nothing but kind and considerate to people, even to those who crossed lines. He was forgiving and unselfish. He thought he should live a good life. But at the end of the day, he is left here dying without an ounce of dignity.

He remembers the frequent whispers of people around him, whispers that weren't even trying to be unheard by him. _"He's just a shell. Take out his beauty and youth, he is nothing."_

In his desire to prove them wrong, he ends up dying.

He joined the army when the war broke. He left his frail mother with his alcoholic father to bring honor to his family... and to himself. He was determined to return alive and show the people his battle scars, to make them acknowledge that he is more than just a pretty face.

But the war isn't the reason why he's lying here bleeding. The war isn't what killed him. First, they broke his spirit, making him believe he is weak and helpless and does not stand a chance in the battle field. Second, they broke his heart, making him fall for someone who he thought adores him equally. And lastly, they broke his body, quite literally. His legs so he couldn't run, his voice box so he could not scream for help, and his ass for their pleasure. Then shot him on his chest to make it look like he is killed during combat.

He hates their evilness. And he also hates himself for being powerless against them. He hates the fact that he was so trusting to the point of naiveté which brought him to this miserable ending.

Jinwoo feels his eyes growing heavier as the seconds tic slowly, as if giving him time to look back to the life he led up to this point. But when he closes his eyes, he dreams of a field of daisies instead. A field where he used to play when he was younger. He dreams of running through the flowers again, free and not caring about the rest of the world. He realizes that place is his paradise and he wants to go back there. He wants to go back to the time when he was happy and truly alive.

He is still dreaming when the raindrops stop hitting his face. He thinks this is it. But he feels a presence close to him so he opens his eyes. With blurry vision, he sees a pair of black brogue near his right arm. A little higher and he sees russet trousers and the hem of a black trench coat. His eyes travel higher to the white shirt and black fedora hat. Jinwoo blinks and he sees his face and shining red eyes.

Jinwoo envies the beauty standing beside him. He envies how he looks so strong and powerful.

"Any last wish?" the man asks.

Jinwoo closes his fist as tears start to pool in his eyes. He doesn't want to die yet. He doesn't want this kind of ending for himself. He wants to live. He wants to say, "Save me." But he also just wants the pain to go away. He is tired of this world that didn't give him an opportunity to a happy ending. And if he's going to die tonight, he wants to be remembered as what he used to be. This is the last stand of his pride.

"I want to stay young and beautiful if that's the last thing I will be." Jinwoo whispers.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In a dark room with the city's skyline as backdrop, a scream is heard as two bodies tense from satisfaction. Labored breaths fan heated skin as they settle down from their high.

One man has his eyes closed savoring the act they have done. He can’t help but think fondly of the man on top of him and wonder what else he can give to him when this very person has everything.

Jinwoo raises his head and stares at the man he’s straddling, eyes glinting despite the lack of light in the room, knowing full well he has a new notch in his belt. "So, as I was saying earlier," he says with the dangerous tone he can only use when he knows he has the upper hand. "I want you to destroy Yang Hyunsuk for me."

"God, you're so hot when you're looking all serious like that." The man says as he reaches for Jinwoo and rakes his fingers through Jinwoo's hair. "Consider it done, babe." He says as he pulls Jinwoo into another searing kiss with the intent of hearing Jinwoo's melodic scream once again.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How the hell did you get your hands on this information, Jinwoo?"

Jinwoo is lying on another man's bed, right arm tucked under his head to support it as he gaze on the prosecutor pacing back and forth in front of him. Jinwoo’s hair is already mussed and lips are swelling from too much kissing and other things.

"It doesn't matter. So, is that evidence strong enough to make a case?"

"It's pretty substantial." The man returns the documents on its envelope and puts it in his safe. "I wonder what this old man did to you for you to go through such length."

Jinwoo sighs in annoyance. "I told you, no questions. Just do what I say and I'll help you get that promotion."

"Well, happy birthday to me, then." The man takes off his already unbuttoned shirt and flops down next to Jinwoo. He starts kissing Jinwoo on the skin under his jaw. "Best present ever."

They are sharing a heated kiss when Jinwoo's phone pings to signal a notification from an app that tells him a person other than him come into his house using the passcode. Jinwoo breaks away from the kiss to reach for his phone.

"Jinwoo, come on." The man whines.

 _'Ah, finally! He has come around again.'_ Jinwoo thinks as he stands on his feet and heads for the door while fixing himself.

"What the?! Where are you going?"

"I have a visitor."

"A visitor?! What about me?"

"You have two hands, the left and the right." Jinwoo singsongs as he exits the apartment.

He feels giddy and excited all of a sudden.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As Jinwoo heads to his bedroom on the second floor, he hears the loud music playing from the attic indicating the presence of his visitor.

He decides he will clean himself up first before meeting him so he continues walking to his en suite. He fills the tub with warm water and puts essential oils and flower petals. He hurriedly peels of his clothes and flops down ungracefully, welcoming the relaxation of the bath offers.

Jinwoo is not aware how long he has napped. He is awaken by a ring of his phone which he reaches languidly and answers with a drawl. "Hello?"

The caller replies straight to the point. "They give in to our demand. They will withdraw their investment today."

Jinwoo's forefinger traces his lower lip as it stretches to a triumphant smile. "Well, that's the second good news I received today. You are truly the best, Seunghyun."

"All credits are yours, you were the one who made the plan, and I’m just doing what you are paying me to do." Jinwoo can hear the mirth on his investment manager's voice. "I just called to tell you this. I'm gonna hang up now."

"Ever the busy body." Jinwoo rolls his eyes.

"Money doesn't sleep."

“Just make sure you toast a wine for this success.” And the line is cut off.

Jinwoo stretches his body leisurely. He stands feeling renewed and hops in the shower to finish cleaning himself.

Clad only in a bath robe, he makes his way to the attic and finds Mino painting another flower. This time it's a sunflower.

"You know, my flower needs some restoring." Jinwoo says to announce his presence.

Mino looks at him over his shoulder but doesn't say anything, then goes back to painting.

Jinwoo walks to his side and pouts like a child. "My daisy looks rotten."

Mino lifts his eyes from the sunflower painting on the easel to the painting on the wall in front of them. It is indeed a painting of a daisy, but it is no longer recognizable as it looks like it was trampled on by storms and dried by drought. He remembers seeing it for the first time, Mino made sure the daisy looks fresh, pure and innocent, the prettiest thing under the blue sky. Now, it only looks lonely and filthy. "It is your soul. How else do you expect it to look like?"

"I was thinking it should be at least a reflection of me." Jinwoo blinks his eyes rapidly as he grins, his dimple showing.

"It reflects you perfectly." Mino stated matter-of-factly. No trace of teasing or playfulness. Just plain straightforward.

Jinwoo scowls, "My goodness, Mino, can't you be a little less evil?"

Mino arches an eyebrow at him, "It's like you're asking a cotton candy to stop being sweet and fluffy." He shakes his head then goes back to his painting.

Jinwoo sighs in resignation and whines, "We've known each other for 90 years but you never softened nor became sweet to me." He sits on a couch behind Mino with arms crossed on his chest. "I even let you come in and go out of my house as you please. I am so offended!" He says without meaning it, he just wants to try if he can appeal to Mino’s conscience.

But Mino’s lips just stretch for a fraction of a smirk. Jinwoo rolls his eyes at the appetizing full-course meal in front of him.

Mino is handsome and tempting like a typical mouth-watering bad boy. His face is sharp and eyes are intense like two blackholes sucking you in. And he can be a very passionate lover who will literally suck out the life from your mortal fragile body. The downside is he doesn't talk much and when he does, he is very straightforward. He can't sugarcoat his words. Though sometimes he can be really funny. He's an expert in dark humor and unpredictability.

Mino carefully drops the brush he's holding to a small table beside him, his new masterpiece finished. "I don't get why you're so attach to the demon who owns your soul." He says as he sits beside Jinwoo, spreading his arms to drape it over the back of the couch.

"Don't make it sound like it's weird. It's Stockholm syndrome." He answers as he leans into Mino's body and places his head on his shoulder.

"It is not normal, all the same."

Mino is a demon who likes to collect anything beautiful. For him, the world is a museum of pretty art pieces and he likes owning the most beautiful ones. The usual tendency of people whose souls he has acquired is to run for the hills after sealing the deal. They like running and staying away as if that will cut their connection to Mino. Greedy enough to take advantage of the gift they got but too scared of meeting Mino again and be asked to cease to exist.

But Jinwoo is different. That night, 90 years ago, Jinwoo was grateful for the first time that he was considered pretty, that is despite his broken state. Mino took interest in him and felt pity for losing such a great art so he gave him a second life. So, no matter how evil Mino wants himself to be recognized by Jinwoo, Jinwoo can't see him that way. He can’t despise Mino or be scared of him. He's still breathing at this very moment because Mino saved him. Even though it wasn't for free and he has to pay for it with his soul. And so far, Mino has not yet asked him to leave this world.

Jinwoo stares at the sunflower painting and comments, "It looks like you're newly acquired soul is very warm and happy. What tragedy brought him to you?"

Mino shrugs and answers, "He says he's in love with me and he wished for a long youthful life so he can stay by my side in exchange for his soul."

"Ah... truly a tragedy." Jinwoo shakes his head. "I hope he's prepared to be taken for granted every now and then."

Jinwoo can't say if Mino is a typical demon because Mino is the only demon he has known in his entire life. But true to his nature, Mino is heartless. He only likes owning things but he isn't capable of love. Jinwoo feels that Mino cherishes him but never in a romantic or brotherly way. He is an object to him and Jinwoo is fine with it. As long as Mino keeps coming back to him, he will never mind.

"Jinwoo, is it worth it?" Mino asks after a long silence.

Jinwoo sits straight with unbelieving look in his eyes. "Wait... are you really asking me for love advice right now?"

"No. I mean your soul." Mino does not look at him. His eyes on the painting of the daisy, willing his memory to remember what it used to look like. "Is revenge worth tarnishing your soul like this?"

Jinwoo casts down his eyes to Mino's tattooed hands, the same hands that painted him a blue sky. "I don't want to be powerless anymore. I will not go down again without a fight." he says quietly.

"For how long are you planning to do this?" There’s no hint of reproach on Mino’s tone.

But Jinwoo’s eyes ignite with anger. "Until I collect all the debts they owe me."

"But their descendants are innocent, don’t you think?"

"They didn't die in my own hands so I'll kill their legacies." Jinwoo says sternly as he shifts his eyes to the daisy painting.

Jinwoo was done mourning for his old and fragile self a long time ago. But whenever he sees the daisy painting, he is reminded of everything he used to be and can't help comparing it to what he is now. Mino is right after all, this is the reflection of what his whole being currently looks like.

"Besides, I'm going to hell anyway. Staying righteous wouldn't make a difference."

People sees Jinwoo as an unreachable and ethereal person with the sweetest smile and gentlest demeanor. But deep inside, he's rotten, greedy and as evil as Mino. While Mino's evilness is brought by his nature, Jinwoo's evilness is his choice.

Jinwoo turns to Mino and lean closer, lips ghosting over the other's lips. "Do you regret it? Granting my wish?"

Mino finally looks at him then cups both his cheeks with his warm hands, dried smeared paints making his hand rough at some areas. "You're still my greatest masterpiece." He gives Jinwoo a kiss on the lips. The same kind of kiss he has given Jinwoo when they sealed the deal a long time ago, feather-light and warm, almost like a fleeting dream.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinwoo wakes up the next day just staring at the canopy of his four-poster bed. The left side of his bed is cold, indicating that the demon he slept with last night has long gone. Of all his intercourse, only with Mino can give him a sense of ease and assurance. It calms his loud thoughts, as if Mino takes away all the bad things he had done to make him brand new again.

He decides to get up when he feels his stomach protesting due to hunger. He puts on his favorite grey hoodie and a pair of black loose pants then heads downstairs. He wonders how many months or years will pass before Mino shows up again.

It is a big house for one person. And he never let anybody come here except for Mino. Mino who has a workspace in the attic and his own bedroom on the second floor next to his, which is actually useless as he never used it. Mino always sleep next to Jinwoo when he is around.

Jinwoo rests on his outdoor lounge as he eats his breakfast, eyeing the peaceful nature in front of him. His place is far from the city, far from the prying eyes. It's situated on top of a mountain, surrounded by tall trees and overlooking a national park.

He reaches for his phone when it pings. It is Seunghyun, his investment manager and another one in Mino’s collection. Mino personally sculpted a marble chair for him; white, regal and cold.

Seunghyun sent him a link to an article about YG Corporation announcing bankruptcy after a foreign investor pulls out and a major bondholder demands for payment instead of bond conversion. And on top of that, the current CEO and its predecessors were arrested for multiple counts of fund misappropriation and embezzlement. Jinwoo laughs maniacally and reaches for his wine. Success tastes even better with wine. What a great way to start his day.

By noon, he roams around his house looking for a perfect place for Mino's latest masterpiece. He thinks he may need to build an extension to his house soon if Mino has no plans of stopping his hobby. But then again, what else will Mino do as a demon if he stops his hobby. Jinwoo's house is practically a museum of Mino's work. But just like his daisy, most of the artworks are now ugly and dark.

He ponders thoughtfully about the story behind the sunflower. It seems closer to Mino's heart (if he ever has one) than the rest, it is evident at his delicate strokes and his desire to make it vibrant, almost looking alive. So Jinwoo settles in placing the painting on the wall above his bedrest, framed by two bedpost. He can use its warm and happiness when he feels lonely. And he can't wait to see Mino's eyes when he looks at it while he writhes underneath him.


	2. SEUNGHOON

"I don't know what Madam Park sees in him. He looks ordinary." A woman in floor-length black satin dress with white fur shawl whispers to the woman on Jinwoo's right. He thinks she's trying so hard to show off her wealth with the amount of gold accessories she's wearing.

"We don't know what he hides under that suit." The woman next to Jinwoo whispers back with a giggle.

"I heard he is a pre-school teacher when Madam Park discovered him. He helped Madam Park's youngest daughter learn how to ride a bicycle." The girl on Jinwoo's left adds.

"I'm a bit hurt that you talk about another man while I'm here." Jinwoo teases the ladies, trying to sound hurt without meaning it.

The three of them give Jinwoo a guilty look.

"Ah, don't worry Jinwoo, he's nothing compared to you." The girl on his left says as she presses her hand lightly on his arm. Jinwoo doesn't miss the flirtatious look she's giving him.

"You know how it works, he's a newbie so everyone is talking about him." The woman with so much gold says, not sorry at all that they were called out gossiping about a guy who is a complete stranger to them.

It's weird how these people from prominent families feel threatened towards someone insignificant. But then again, those who are insignificant but completely ambitious are the scariest ones.

"Excuse me, ladies," Eric interrupts them.

Eric is one of the most charming people Jinwoo has known in this decade. He's eloquent, funny and charismatic. And ladies can never resist his bright smile.

"Madam Park is calling for Jinwoo. So, sorry I'm not sorry that you will be left with me tonight." This draws out a boisterous laugh from the three ladies accompanying Jinwoo. Eric winks at Jinwoo as he takes the ladies' undivided attention.

Jinwoo smiles politely and mouths his thanks. He feels relieved that Madam Park remembers him. She is someone he can't lose, her fondness of him has always been convenient to him.

He walks toward the direction where a lot more people are clustered together, circling the elegant Madam Park whose right arm hooked to the man people has been talking about. When they have passed through the crowd, Jinwoo gently takes Madam Park's free hand and tug her to him, twirling her in the process.

Madam Park is a widow on her late thirties, who has penchant for younger and handsome men. At first, Jinwoo thought she's predatory, but later on found out she just likes mentoring people to succeed at a young age. With head always held high, she is a symbol of a very capable and powerful woman.

Madam Park chuckles when she realizes it is Jinwoo that takes her away from her current escort. "Jinwoo!"

Jinwoo brings out his thousand-watt smile, "I almost sulk because I thought you forgot about me."

"You? Of all people?" She shakes her head and returns Jinwoo's smile.

Jinwoo has always wondered why Mino never added this woman to his collection. She is clearly another work of art, from her big eyes and plump lips to her amazing figure. Understandably though, Madam Park is already satisfied with her life. He doesn't think Mino has anything else to offer to her that she doesn't have yet. And the advanced technology has been doing amazing job at maintaining her youthful look for her.

"By the way, I want to introduce you to someone." She says and turns to the talk of the town. "Seunghoonie." she calls.

The man just stayed close even when Jinwoo stole Madam Park from him earlier. Just one step forward and he is now taking up Jinwoo's view and a bit of his personal space. He is tall and lean and his hair is bleached white. He's dressed in a red pinstripe suit with red trutleneck inside and a thin belt around his waist. His ensembles hug his body perfectly, giving emphasis to his broad shoulder, narrow hips and long slender legs. He smells nice, too.

The ladies were right, his facial features look ordinary except for his intense sharp eyes. But his body is definitely to die for. He wonders how many times he had used it to get where he is now.

"Jinwoo, this is Lee Seunghoon. He's Seoyeon's teacher in daycare. Seunghoon, this is Kim Jinwoo, my self-adopted baby brother." She smiles and Jinwoo senses something in the way she smiles but can't pinpoint.

Seunghoon and Jinwoo shakes hand but Jinwoo has to withdraw immediately due to the light electrical shock he feels. He stares at his hand in surprise.

"Oh, is that spark I see there?" Madam Park teases.

"It's static current," Seunghoon says matter-of-factly.

Madam Park stares at him blankly which causes him to hurriedly rake his brain for explanation. "You know, when an atom has an unbalanced number of electrons and protons, the electrons move quickly towards the protons."

"I don't understand it." Madam Park laughs, "But isn't he smart, Jinwoo?"

Seunghoon blushes but Jinwoo is unimpressed. He doesn't like encountering smart people, they easily catch up on Jinwoo's secrets and intentions. He likes them dumb and blind.

Seunghoon clears his throat. "It's very nice to meet you."

Jinwoo flashes him his signature yet practiced smile, showing off his dimple. "Likewise."

"I remember I promised Yedam I will introduce him to a girl he's secretly harboring a crush on. I will leave Seunghoon to you, Jinwoo." Madam Park says which surprises Jinwoo.

She reaches for Seunghoon's right cheek and Jinwoo's left and taps it lightly. "Please, enjoy the party and get along well. I'll see you later."

Just like that he has been dismissed. It doesn't sit well with Jinwoo. He doesn't like being set aside.

Jinwoo sighs when Madam Park walks away. He doesn't think he has anymore role to play tonight.

He thinks the room is getting too crowded and he's no longer in the mood to entertain people's interest in him so he decides to go to a secluded veranda. He grabs a glass of champagne while on his way. If not for the reflection he sees on the window, he won't be aware that Seunghoon is actually following him.

Jinwoo turns to Seunghoon. "Are you following me?"

Seunghoon blinks. "Uhm... Madam Park--"

Jinwoo cuts him off. "You will really do as she said? Or is it really Madam Park?" Jinwoo challenges, trying to catch Seunghoon if he's planning to flirt with him.

"I don't know anyone here." Seunghoon grins sheepishly.

"You do realize Madam Park spent two hours introducing you to everyone." Jinwoo counters. "Is that pointless after all?"

"She seems to only trust you though." Seunghoon scratches his nape.

He isn't sure why Madam Park tasked him to babysit this grown up man but, okay, he can play this game.

Jinwoo licks his lips. He hands his glass of champagne to Seunghoon then reaches to Seunghoon's left shoulder and right waist, he feels the man stiffen. "Can you please stand straighter? Chin up." Jinwoo then lifts his chin. "You're ruining your expensive tailored suit with that demeanor of yours. Looking shy and awkward doesn't suit you."

Jinwoo turns around and starts walking again. He grabs another glass of champagne from a server and heads to the veranda, Seunghoon still on his trail.

"What suits me then?" Seunghoon asks all of a sudden when they got out of the ball room and into the veranda. The cold and fresh breeze of air welcomes them.

Jinwoo gives him a puzzled look.

"You said looking shy and awkward doesn't suit me." He repeats. "What suits me then?" There's a small smile on his lips. Seunghoon lifts the glass to his lip and takes one sip, his adam's apple bobbing in the process.

Jinwoo thinks Seunghoon is a confident man behind his unsure stance earlier. And in Jinwoo's standard, he is gorgeous. Those dark eyes have the same intensity as Mino's but while Mino's eyes suck you in and strip you off of everything, Seunghoon's draw you in and show you the multi-faceted universe of human's emotion.

But Jinwoo doesn't say that. He senses Seunghoon will start flirting with him if he does, so he decides to use his business tone to draw a line. He is not interested to a parasite leeching off from another parasite. The latter parasite being Jinwoo.

"Madam Park brought you here because she probably saw something in you." Jinwoo shrugs and changes the topic. "If you aren't aware yet, she likes working on charity cases. She probably thinks you can do better than taking care of children in a daycare."

"Ah, yeah... she mentioned about modelling or something." He says as he lowers his head and scratches his nape. He doesn't sound boastful though. He sounds like he just remembered a conversation he had.

His attitude on the topic bewilders Jinwoo. It's like he's not interested at all.

Seunghoon leans forward on the balustrade and Jinwoo's eyes follow him. They are silent for a moment, Seunghoon is deep in his thoughts.

"Do you think she will be offended if I decline?" Seunghoon asks to break the silence.

His question surprises Jinwoo. "You will what?"

"Honestly, I became a pre-school teacher because I like it." Seunghoon gazes at the sky.

"I like playing with kids. I like making them laugh. I like it when they learn to do something new with my help. I enjoy being surrounded by their mischievousness." He chuckles lightly.

"And most importantly, I like learning lessons from their innocent minds and hearts.” Jinwoo isn't sure if Seunghoon's eyes are reflecting the stars or he has his own stars in his eyes as it glitters weakly.

Seunghoon turns and continues, “I majored in children behavior and psychology, by the way."

He leans backward with his elbows perched on the balustrade. Eyes pointedly looking at the party inside. "I feel out of place here. Or rather, I know my place and it isn't here."

Jinwoo wants to laugh at the incredulity of what Seunghoon is saying. _'Is he for real?'_ He thinks.

Madam Park granted Seunghoon an access to this society that many people covet. He is introduced to prominent people with powerful connections. But Seunghoon doesn't seem to like it.

"You're only saying that now. But once you got a taste of fame and money, you'll change your mind." Jinwoo says then takes a sip of his own champagne.

Seunghoon shakes his head. "That's why I don't want to get use to this." He shifts to face Jinwoo and stares directly to his eyes. "I know once I achieve something, just like everybody else, I will start to ask for more. I will become greedy. I don't want to turn myself into someone I won't be able to recognize as myself later on. I don't want to end up a monster."

It stops Jinwoo from drinking, holding his glass tighter.

Seunghoon's words irk Jinwoo. It resonates inside him and twists in an offending way. Seunghoon speaks and acts like he is a saint and Jinwoo realizes he dislike him. He detests his good intention. He despises his untarnish soul. He hates it that Seunghoon proves all of Jinwoo's prejudices wrong.

Kim Jinwoo decides he hates everything about Lee Seunghoon because he envies him. Seunghoon reminds him of his past self that he failed to protect and lost. But Seunghoon is a better version because he is firm and he has conviction.

"I think I know now why Madam Park left you to me. But if you're really decided about declining, I won't try to change your mind." Jinwoo says in a stern tone. "I will tell her for you."

Jinwoo starts to walk away but Seunghoon grabs his wrist. His hands warm and clammy.

"No," he says. "I'll tell her myself." He looks nervous. "I just want to confirm that I will not gain her wrath if I decline. I... I don't want to end up floating in the river just because--"

Jinwoo shakes off his hand forcefully, "Stop stereotyping that all rich people are evil, Lee Seunghoon. Not all of us are murderers. People like Madam Park doesn't deserve this."

Seunghoon whispers, "I’m sorry, I was only kidding at that last part."

"What?"

"I thought I hit a nerve," Seunghoon says defensively. "So I tried to joke but I guess I'm not funny tonight."

"Yeah, you're not funny." Jinwoo says. "I hope not to cross path with you again, Mr. Lee."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Such a waste." Madam Park says sullenly besides Jinwoo on the back seat of her car as she looks at Seunghoon playing tag with kids. "Look at those biceps when he's lifting those kids! Ugh!" She's shaking her head. "That body should be grazing magazines all over the world and dominating catwalks." Madam Park does an exaggerated fake weep.

"But he says that world isn't for him." Jinwoo reminds her without looking at the subject of their conversation.

"I know, but still." Madam Park sighs, pretending to wipe tears with her handkerchief.

Jinwoo can clearly see how hard it is for Madam Park to let go of Seunghoon and the golden opportunities she has for him. But this only heightened his annoyance towards the man. She has been talking about Seunghoon whenever they meet. He thinks his ears will fall off anytime now. She has been talking about his excellent body proportions a lot that he even dreamed about him one night.

"Jinwoo-ya, can you get Seoyeonie for me?"

Jinwoo is caught off guard by her request.

"She's expecting you since I told her we're going to have dinner together. She will be very delighted to see you." Madam Park says.

Madam Park can easily afford private nannies and private education for her children, she's a doting adoptive mother. But she still prefers to enroll them on daycare as she believes it helps them be considerate of others at a young age, teach them meaning of authority and rules through the teachers, and expose them to experiences that can't be encountered within the four corners of their home.

"Sure, noona." Jinwoo nods. He tries to hide his annoyance, he can't bring himself to tell the woman how much he is irritated by that man because he doesn't want to disappoint her. He isn’t ready to show his true color to her.

Jinwoo gets out of the car, dusts off his light blue blazer and fix his jet black hair into his typical slightly messy style. He starts walking with his usual graceful manner. The people he passes by and walks along with can't help but to automatically turn their heads and gawk at him.

Jinwoo is very much aware of his effect on people. One smile from him and he can make them say yes to whatever he asks for. Just one meeting behind closed doors can make them offer the world to him.

Jinwoo stands at the gate of the daycare, at the back of all the parents waiting for their children. He sees Seunghoon along with another teacher sending the children off. He is wearing a plain white tee with sleeves rolled up, a pair of faded jeans and black sneakers, a green apron strapped on his lean waist and a pink hat on his head hiding his bleached hair. His eyes are almost closing as he smiles to the children, his voice a pitch higher to deliver his cheerful goodbyes.

He is smiling when he talks to a parent about a child's progress in their class. He is smiling when he reports to another parent that he had done all the things on the checklist they had left. He is still smiling when he bows to apologize to another parent about an unfortunate incident which is clearly the child's fault.

Seoyeon goes out of the door and immediately spots Jinwoo. "Oppa!" She shrills.

She runs pass Seunghoon without looking at him and Jinwoo has to crouch down so he can catch her when she jumps into his arms. The little girl hugs him tight.

Seoyeon pulls away suddenly and tugs Jinwoo's hand. "Teacher Seunghoon!" she calls as she leads Jinwoo to Seunghoon.

Jinwoo's and Seunghoon's eyes meet and Seunghoon's smile grows wider.

"I told you, my prince will be coming for me." Seoyeon says. "I'm going to marry him when I grow up."

Seunghoon breaks his eye contact with Jinwoo to look at Seoyeon. He reaches for her hair and tousles it. "Yeah, yeah. I never said I didn't believe you."

Seoyeon smiles proudly to her teacher. "Isn't he handsome?"

"Yes, he is."

"He also has a beautiful voice!"

"Really?" Seunghoon looks back at Jinwoo.

Jinwoo just maintains his straight face.

"He's always kind to me. He gives me lots of gifts." Seoyeon adds.

"Wow! He is a great catch, Seoyeon."

Jinwoo doesn't know what to make out of this conversation between the two.

"That's why my dream is to be a princess and marry him." Seoyeon continues.

Seunghoon chuckles. "That's really cute of you."

"Seoyeon," Jinwoo steals the littel girl's attention. "Your mother is waiting for us in the car. We have to go now." Jinwoo lifts her in his arms.

"Okay." She answers and bids Seunghoon goodbye. Jinwoo turns to leave.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Kim. Have a great night." He hears Seunghoon says a little bit too energetically.

'Is he making fun of me?' Jinwoo doesn't look back.

Seoyeon rests her chin on Jinwoo's shoulder as he starts walking away. She is waving to Seunghoon behind Jinwoo's back.

"You know, teacher Seunghoon is my favorite because he taught me how to ride bicycle, he likes playing with us, he braids my hair, he feeds me apple and he always makes us laugh. Do you not like him?" Seoyeon sounds sad. "Do I have to stop liking him, too?"

"No, baby girl." Jinwoo answers back, brushing his finger on her cheek. "You can like him. Who knows? Maybe you change your mind later on and decides you want to marry him instead of me."

"No!" Seoyeon pulls back and looks at Jinwoo. "You're mine."

Jinwoo chuckles at the absurdity of a little girl's heart. But if there is someone who will take care of Seoyeon once she becomes a full-grown woman, maybe someone husband-material like Lee Seunghoon isn't bad at all.

Oh, scratch that.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinwoo is having his makeup done when Madam Park sits on the chair next to his.

"Jinwoo-ya, thank you for doing this." She smiles gratefully. "I really want that BLNK clothing line to shut down because they insulted me. I know I'm old but I want to prove them I still know what's in and out when it comes to fashion."

Madam Park is a good-natured person but she doesn't like being insulted. When people say she can't do it, she will prove them she can. And Jinwoo really admires her for that. That is the kind of power he wishes he had when he was younger.

She decided to create her own clothing line and asked Jinwoo and another man to be its very first promotional model. A couple of pictures won't do harm to his secret as he just recently re-introduced himself in this society after staying overseas for 30 years.

"Don't worry, Jinwoo, I will compensate you well." Madam Park continues. "Do you want me to get rid of the problematic corns? I heard you're allergic to it."

Jinwoo chortles. "No, that isn't necessary, noona."

It isn't really an allergy. During his first life, due to poverty, his family only had corns from their farm to eat every day. Jinwoo doesn't want to remember that part of his life, so he started avoiding it when he started his second life.

Besides, he can't really tell Madam Park that the one he is after is a commander in the army. The only son of Kim Gura, one of the men who violated him. Jinwoo wasn't able to exact his revenge to Gura, so he'd like to do it on his son who mainly benefitted from his father's influence and wrongdoings.

The door to the dressing room opens and a handful of people enters making the room a little noisy. One person openly stares at Jinwoo through the mirror.

Jinwoo feels a pinprick on his nape so he meets Seunghoon's eyes. Neither Jinwoo nor Seunghoon smiles to acknowledge the presence of each other. Jinwoo maintains the neutral expression on his face while Seunghoon looks like he has seen an angel.

Madam Park stands to welcome Seunghoon, which causes Seunghoon to break their eye contact. She hugs him as she thanks him for doing this favor. Seunghoon smiles at her warmly while scratching his nape. "I just want to repay your kindness, noona."

Jinwoo's mood suddenly turns sour. He wants to get rid of that smile.

Madam Park leaves them afterwards so they can prepare properly and she can greet the other staffs.

Silence settles inside the dressing room as the makeup artists and hairstylists work their wonders on them. It seems like the rest of the people feels the tension between two men.

Jinwoo is the first one to stand to change his clothes. He is listening to the stylist's instruction when Seunghoon stands beside him, announcing he's also ready to change clothes.

Jinwoo is very confident about his body. When Mino granted his wish, he was very thorough about it. He made sure Jinwoo has no flaw from the top of his head to the tip of his toenails.

So confident that he doesn't mind taking off his shirt in front of these people so he can wear his outfit. He sees Seunghoon blushes and looks away from him.

The stylist helps Jinwoo tie the elaborate cord on the shirt's design, making it hug his thin waist.

Beside him, Seunghoon also starts taking off his tee, revealing well-defined muscles. Jinwoo isn't faze at all and openly checks him out as the stylist decides whether a belt or a sash will go well with his pants.

Their eyes meet and Jinwoo feels like declaring a war. _'God, I hate you so much!'_ Jinwoo screams internally.

"Okay, you're all set." The stylist declares after Jinwoo puts on a blazer one-size bigger for him. He looks at himself in the mirror, aware about Seunghoon's eyes on him.

"Thank you for your excellent work." Jinwoo smiles sweetly to the staffs and bows. "I'll go ahead."

Jinwoo exits the room, feet slightly stomping. Something feels funny in his stomach.

The director informed Jinwoo that it's a joint photoshoot. A detail that Madam Park failed to mention to him.

Jinwoo tries to calm himself. And he wants to kick himself because this is the first time he has difficulty in doing so. He knows. He exactly knows the reason but he just can't wrap his head around it.

"Sir, this is my first time doing this." Seunghoon says politely to the photographer and director as he shakes their hands. "Please feel free to point out if I'm lacking or doing something wrong."

Jinwoo's annoyance boils again as he hears Seunghoon's voice. 'I thought you're not interested in this world, why did you agree to do this all of a sudden?' He rolls his eyes then sighs heavily before he walks towards Seunghoon, who is now standing awkwardly in front of the camera.

"Okay, we're starting." The director announces.

"I thought I told you looking shy and awkward doesn't suit you." Jinwoo whispers as he stands next to Seunghoon.

"Ah... yeah." Seunghoon straightens his back and offers a small smile to Jinwoo. "Help me, please."

"I'm not an expert as well." Jinwoo says as he looks at the camera. "Just look as confident as you are when you're in front of your students."

The camera flashes. One. Two. Three.

The director instructed them to stand closer when Seunghoon whispers, "Have you been... observing me?"

Jinwoo wants to laugh right there and then.

 _Has he been observing him?!_ It's not like he wanted to. Madam Park kept asking Jinwoo to pick up Seoyeon from the daycare recently. And Seunghoon was always persistent to start a conversation every time, smiles never wavering. Persistent but not entirely intrusive.

He usually arrive on time the first few times. But once, he was 10 minutes early. That 10 minutes turned to 20. Then to 30 minutes. And he just became aware of it when he was one-hour early and looking forward to that brief interaction as he watched Seunghoon happily doing his job from inside his car.

Jinwoo rests his forearm on Seunghoon's shoulder which makes Seunghoon glance at him with some sort of surprised expression. Jinwoo looks at him straight in the eyes.

_'What's so good about you?’_

The camera flashes again. One. Two. Three.

Jinwoo places his pointed forefinger on his bottom lip. Seunghoon's eyes zero in on the tip of Jinwoo's finger. Jinwoo looks at the camera.

_'Why are you appearing in my dreams?'_

Flash.

Jinwoo turns his back to Seunghoon's side and slightly leans on his arm. Jinwoo feels Seunghoon's arm move as if to support him but Jinwoo says, "Don't."

_'Why are you occupying my thoughts?'_

Flash.

Seunghoon slightly shifts so Jinwoo is slightly leaning on his left chest.

_'Why do I think of you when I look at that sunflower painting?'_

Flash.

Then Seunghoon hangs his arms on Jinwoo's shoulder.

"Why did you agree to do this?" Jinwoo murmurs while looking straight to the camera.

Flash.

Jinwoo rests his head.

"For a chance to see you more."

Kim Jinwoo has a lot of reasons for hating Lee Seunghoon and one of them is for pestering his mind like a bug.

Later that night, Jinwoo gathers all his provocative confidence to seduce Seunghoon into sleeping with him. He needs to know the answers to his questions. He's desperate to get a taste of him.

But the night ends with Jinwoo alone in his room. Frustrated and humiliated. Seunghoon's words haunting him.

"I don't sleep with just anyone, Jinwoo. You're very delectable right now but it's your heart that I want. Let's date instead."


	3. JINWOO

_'Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_You may think it's absurd_

_But neoljohahae Jinwoo'_

Jinwoo shudders at the message he received from Seunghoon.

It's early in the morning and Jinwoo wakes up again to an aching morning wood. But the message from Seunghoon ends it for him. He can't believe he's interested in this corny man. He can't believe Seunghoon can get any worse.

Jinwoo can feel a blush creeps to his face, ears and neck. He turns to his stomach and screams to his pillow. “Fuck you, Lee Seunghoon, fuck you!” He curses until he's breathless.

He screams _'fuck you'_ when what he really mean is _'fuck me'_.

Jinwoo prepares instant ramyeon for breakfast because his mood is already ruined and he doesn't feel like going out anymore. He needs his comfort food. And he needs a dose of preservatives and artificial additives in hopes that his clouded judgement can be cured.

Jinwoo sits on the sofa in his living room. He looks at the drama showing on the tv in front of him without really seeing. His mind is lost, contemplating where he went wrong and what mistakes he could have avoided are.

Maybe if he stayed home that night and didn't attend the party, his life could've remained normal. As if anything is normal in his life.

Maybe if he was openly vocal at his refusal to meet him again, his interest in him wouldn't grow.

Maybe if he completely rejected Seunghoon's proposal, he wouldn't be hanging out with him every now and then in the past six months.

Maybe if he's prettier and more seductive, he wouldn't spend the last six months as a celibate.

Maybe if he didn't let Seunghoon in his life, he could have focused on his life's mission.

Now, everything is ruined.

Jinwoo is so mad, mostly at himself. He could've avoided all this messy internal conflict if he just learned to stop himself since the beginning. Seunghoon tempts and frustrates him at the same time. But he shouldn't have desired him in the first place.

He lets his upper body falls heavily on the sofa, face first. He hammers his right fist repeatedly on the sofa while his legs are flailing violently. Jinwoo doesn't get it. He can no longer understand himself. He's going crazier than he already is.

He senses him before he hears him. Jinwoo's head perks up like a puppy whose master has arrived. He jumps to his feet and runs towards the hallway to welcome his visitor.

"Mino-yaaaa!" Jinwoo shrills gleefully and jumps into Mino's arm. He quickly wraps his arms around Mino's neck and his legs around his waist as he peppers Mino with light kisses all over his face.

"What is with this mood, Jinwoo?"

"God! I mean, Lucifer!" Jinwoo corrects himself. "I missed you, Mino!"

Mino rakes his fingers in Jinwoo's hair and tugs backward, nuzzling Jinwoo's exposed neck.

Mino saunters with Jinwoo in his arms. Jinwoo thinks they are heading upstairs but Mino enters the living room instead and sits on the sofa, placing Jinwoo on his lap to straddle him.

"How have you been?" Mino inquires.

"Can't you tell? I've been so lonely without you." Jinwoo pouts.

Mino just regards him with a serious look.

"Okay okay. I'm fine." Jinwoo raises his hands. "What brings you here? Do you have a new soul to paint or sculpt? Do you want me to prepare your workspace?" Jinwoo makes a move to stand up but Mino hold his waist.

"No, I'm here because of you." Mino says in his deep serious voice.

Jinwoo feels goosebumps all over his body and he knows Mino is aware of it. Color drains from Jinwoo's face. "Are you..." Jinwoo can't finish his question. His frightened face gives out everything.

"You don't have to be scared, Jinwoo." Mino assures him. "I'm not taking you yet."

Jinwoo exhales loudly, relief brings back color to his cheeks. He is silent for a moment but grins when he recovers. "Then maybe you can take me in another way?" he squirms on Mino’s lap playfully.

Mino kisses his forehead and says a stern no. "I'm here to talk."

"Us? Talk?" Jinwoo asks, he finds it funny. "Mino, we both know we're not good with words. Why talk?"

It's true. Jinwoo isn't sure if it's demon ethics but Mino rarely talks, like heart-to-heart deep talks. And Jinwoo, well, Mino already knows him inside and out. He has nothing else to say to him.

"Jinwoo," Mino starts. "I can sense your distress from miles away."

"Distress? What are you talking about?" Jinwoo chuckles nervously. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Jinwoo."

"Oh, I know. I can't seem to sleep with anyone for the last six months, I'm afraid my ass is about to close. You think you can help me with that?"

The playfulness in Jinwoo's face withdraws when Mino regards him with his intimidating stares.

Jinwoo thinks he has an idea what Mino wants to talk about. But he doesn't want to talk about it. Talking about it is like admitting it. Talking about it makes it more real and no, he can't afford to make it real.

As a defense mechanism, Jinwoo claims Mino's lips. He grabs Mino's hair so he can angle his head for better access to his mouth. He kisses him with all the frustration he feels. He kisses him like his body is set on fire and he's going mad. He kisses Mino's mouth passionately imagining another man kissing him back.

Mino pulls away and it infuriates Jinwoo. He reaches for the fly of Mino's pants but Mino's hands stop him. "Why can't you just give it to me, Mino? Why can't you just fuck me senseless like before?"

There are tears on Jinwoo's eyes. Even Mino is rejecting him now. He feels so unwanted. He feels like he has no purpose in this world anymore. If no one desires him now, why is he even breathing?

"I can't give it to you because I'm not really what you want, Jinwoo." Mino breathes. He points his forefinger on Jinwoo's left chest. "This place is no longer empty. Someone is already inside it. And that gives me no right at all."

"You're lying. You're just making up excuses!" Jinwoo shouts. "If you no longer want me around, then take me to hell now!"

Jinwoo attempts to stand again but Mino just encircles his arms around Jinwoo, tight and not letting go.

"I know you notice how I always come to you when you start hating yourself because of a sin you committed, Jinwoo." Mino says quietly. "I always feel like I am responsible for corrupting the beautiful you. You were this innocent man who always sees the beauty in this world and the kindness in people. I could have let you die preserving that man. But I was so selfish and I wanted you for myself.

"I gave you a second life but I could only watch when you struggle." Mino leans on Jinu's shoulder. "You craved for strangers' approval. You validated yourself with their desires. You used your body, your beautiful and amazing body, to get what you want then regretted it later on. As time goes by, your self-loathing becomes natural to you that you closed your heart, thinking you don't deserve to be happy anymore. I tried to kiss them all away Jinwoo. Despite being as I am, I feel powerless that I could only chase your self-loathing away by fucking you.

"If only I could, I would've destroyed that painting so you won't be reminded of all the bad things you've done, Jinwoo. So you won't feel guilty and hate yourself for desiring happiness."

Mino straighten his back to look Jinwoo in the eyes. There are fine lines of tears streaming continuously down his cheeks. Even when he's crying, Jinwoo is still breathtaking.

Mino cups both of Jinwoo's cheek, wiping his tears using his thumbs. "Jinwoo, when was the last time you felt really happy?"

In the last 90 years, Jinwoo's last memory of happiness is when he was in a field of daisy. The main reason why Mino's painting of Jinwoo was a daisy. But now, all he can think about is a morning in a beach, Seunghoon and Jinwoo having a water splash battle despite being fully-clothed. Or an afternoon in an amusement park, Jinwoo and Seunghoon riding a roller coaster and Seunghoon just kept on screaming, 'Oppa!' hilariously. Or a quiet night of soju and grilled pork, Jinwoo feeding Seunghoon a lettuce stuffed with everything, too big for his mouth.

Jinwoo bites his trembling lips.

"It's time to stop pretending you're incapable of love, Jinwoo. It's not a crime." Mino pushes Jinwoo's head to lean on his shoulder as he hears Jinwoo breaks down.

"I can't understand you. And I can never understand him. But I can't understand myself, too!" Jinwoo cries. "He said he likes me but he won't even touch me and I'm so confused!"

"I don't like this suffocating feeling in my chest. It feels so uncomfortable." Jinwoo clutches on his left chest. "I hate it when he smiles at me and my stomach flutters. I don't like it when we have to part ways at night because I feel like I'll stop breathing every damn time.

"Love? Happiness? Those are all bullshit. I just want... I just want... I don't even know what exactly I want. I'm not supposed to want anything beautiful. I'm filthy. I can't do this to him! But... but... I want him so bad.

Jinwoo's other hand grabs Mino's arm, he holds it as if he's holding on for his dear life. "I'm scared, Mino. I'm so scared. Please, don't leave me to him. I feel like my world is going to crumble anytime soon. Please, I don't deserve this. I don’t deserve his warmth and light."

Mino brushes Jinwoo's hair in comforting strokes. "It's okay to be a little more selfish, Jinwoo. This time I want you to chase your true happiness and nothing else."

“But it will be the end of me.” Jinwoo whispers between his sobs.

“If the world could not give you your happy ending, I will give it to you.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The coldness of autumn makes Jinwoo's breath visible. The night is still young and from his vantage point, he can see the bright lights of the city pulsating to life.

Jinwoo is going to make the biggest decision in his life tonight, at least since the night he told Mino his wish. But it will all be up to Seunghoon whether he choose this or that.

Jinwoo hears Seunghoon's footsteps against gravel. He knows he's near but he doesn't make a move to face him.

"Where have you been?" Seunghoon starts. "I haven't heard from you for a month. You never answered my calls nor replied on my messages. What happened to you? Are you okay?" His voice sounds worried.

"Let's end this." Jinwoo whispers, his voice raspy.

Seunghoon is taken aback by Jinwoo's statement. It's so quiet around them but he wants to know if he heard him correctly so he asks, "What did you say?"

Jinwoo takes a deep breath then faces Seunghoon. He looks him in the eye and says in a clearer voice, "Let's end this."

There's a confused look on Seunghoon's face. "But why? I thought we're good and... happy?"

Jinwoo laughs bitterly. "Seunghoon, you're the only one who's happy."

"I don't understand."

"Yeah, me too. I don't understand you." Jinwoo utters.

"What did I do?" Seunghoon counters.

"What did you do?" Jinwoo scoffs. "You aren't even aware of what you did to me?"

Seunghoon is surprised at Jinwoo's sharp tone. "Please, I--" Seunghoon cuts off himself, opens his mouth then closes it again, it's clear he has no idea where to start.

"You barged into my life like you own it then tried to change me!" Jinwoo says accusingly.

"I did?" Seunghoon is baffled.

"I became less gentle and more aggressive because you kept on frustrating me! I became sappy from watching too many romance movies because you kept on insisting movie dates. I even cried one time and you had the audacity to laugh at me! I became talkative because you kept asking so many questions about me. And the list goes on."

"Wait, hold on!"

"Don't interrupt me," Jinwoo pointed his forefinger sharply to Seunghoon. "I'm not yet done talking."

In which Seunghoon just lifts both his arms in surrender.

"All my life I am the one who is being chased and wooed," Jinwoo points at himself, tears pooling at his eyes. "But why am I chasing you now? What have you done to me? What spell did you cast on me? Why can't I seem to stop myself from wanting you?"

Jinwoo's hands fall to his sides. His outburst drains his energy.

And Seunghoon is too shock to process everything all at once.

Jinwoo lowers his head and he harshly brushes away his tears. In a soft voice he asks, "Why is my heart beating like this when I think of you and when I see you? Why do I want to see you so badly every god-forsaken time?"

Kim Jinwoo really hates Lee Seunghoon. He hates him for turning his world upside down. But he also loves him for the same reasons. “Let’s end this chase.”

Seunghoon closes the distance between them. He cups Jinwoo's cheeks and lifts his face to him. For the first time in six months, Seunghoon claims Jinwoo's lips.

It was warm, soft and fleeting, but to Jinwoo, it tastes so good.

"I love you, too." Seunghoon breathes near Jinwoo's lips.

"Really?" Jinwoo asks, his eyes round and disbelieving.

"Really really. Trust me." Seunghoon assures him and gives him another chaste kiss.

Jinwoo holds on to Seunghoon's arms. "More."

Another kiss. Jinwoo closes his eyes to savor it. ‘Goodness, gracious.’ He thinks his heart is going to explode. A little bit more selfish. Just a tiny bit... "More."

Seunghoon grants him another kiss, this time it's lingering. "More."

That night, Jinwoo keeps asking for more and Seunghoon gives his everything. And more.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It's like Jinwoo wakes up from a trance when he sees his diploma in early childhood education.

In his long list of bachelor, masteral, doctoral degrees, from engineering, finance, medicine to law, this diploma seems out of place.

"Why did I do this again?" Jinwoo asks Seunghoon who is now placing a cake on the table in the middle of varying dishes.

"You said you want to always be with me so you're planning to get a job at the daycare." Seunghoon utters with a big smile on his face.

A month into their relationship, Jinwoo decided to move in with Seunghoon in his one-bedroom apartment. It's way smaller than Jinwoo's house but he likes its warmth. And he likes it even more that the last thing he sees at night and the first thing he sees in the morning is Seunghoon's face. But because of Seunghoon's job, Jinwoo was always left alone the rest of the day to watch dramas on tv. Without a job, Jinwoo had a lot of spare time so he decided to study again.

And yes, despite his educational background, Jinwoo doesn't have a job. He really doesn't need it. With Seunghyun’s help, he plays well in stock market and his long-term investments are all successful.

And Jinwoo is just going to do this job so he can spend more time with Seunghoon every day. He admits it’s crazy but he is truly head over heels.

"I have to warn you though," Seunghoon says. "You're not allowed to curse and we definitely can't do any monkey business there."

"We can't?" Jinwoo asks, eyes wide like a child. "Even during break time?"

Seunghoon chuckles. "Let's not ruin their childhood, love." He stands up from his side of the table and lean into Jinwoo to give him a chaste kiss. Then he tousles his hair.

"More." Jinwoo demands.

"Later." Seunghoon promises. "Let's celebrate first. I hope you don't mind beer."

Seunghoon starts pouring beer on their mugs when Jinwoo mutters, "Can't we just celebrate on our bed?"

"Jinwoo!" Seunghoon chastises.

Jinwoo raises his beer mug. "Okay, beer it is."

After they had a little too many drinks, Seunghoon pulls Jinwoo to stand. He holds Jinwoo's right hand, places his right hand on Jinwoo's left hip and starts to sway them slowly.

"What is this?" Jinwoo looks up to Seunghoon.

"We're dancing." Seunghoon beams.

"Without music?" Jinwoo arches one of his brow.

"There is. Listen." Seunghoon pulls Jinwoo's head to lean in, ears to his left chest. "Do you hear it?"

Jinwoo giggles. "Goodness, gracious. You're so corny."

"You love it though." Seunghoon presses a light kiss on Jinwoo's crown.

Jinwoo looks up again and pouts his lips. Seunghoon brushes his lips to his.

Jinwoo goes back to listening to Seunghoon's heartbeat. He closes his eyes, happily content. No amount of luxury could give Jinwoo this feeling.

"How about dancing for me?" Jinwoo suggests.

"Eh?"

"I wanna see you dancing freestyle again. You are a spectacle when you dance."

Seunghoon twirls Jinwoo then leads him to seat on the sofa. He takes his phone and scrolls. "This needs a music."

Then Jinwoo bursts into a fit of laughter when Careless Whisper starts playing. "I said freestyle not strip dance!"

"This is freestyle. And I'll let you strip me later."

****

The following week, the daycare where Seunghoon teaches hires Jinwoo and he's in-charge of the art classes.

Seunghoon takes a look at Jinwoo's drawing and asks, "What is that?"

"It's a cat." Jinwoo says.

"Ah..."

"What class are you in-charge again?" Jinwoo inquires.

"P.E." Seunghoon replies.

"Exchange with me."

Seunghoon guffaws.

****

Five days later, Seunghoon is unusually aloof from Jinwoo the whole day. He also avoids any form of skinship.

After shower, Jinwoo sits next to Seunghoon on their bed while drying his hair.

"Are you sulking?" Jinwoo asks.

"No."

"Then why are you behaving like this?"

Seunghoon closes the book he's reading. "Behaving like what?"

Jinwoo huffs, "Like that!" He points at Seunghoon whose brows knitted together, cheeks puffed and lips pouted.

Seunghoon sighs then sets aside his book on the side table. He scoots closer to Jinwoo and helps him dry his hair. "It's nothing."

"Seunghoon." Jinwoo calls him sweetly, "Come on, tell me." He kisses his jaw.

Silence. And then Seunghoon mumbles, "You seem popular with the girls."

Jinwoo pulls back and sees Seunghoon's red face. It is Jinwoo's turn to make fun of him. "Are you seriously jealous of little kids?"

"I saw how three girls fight over you during lunch. It was a disaster, Jinwoo." Seunghoon shakes his head. "Is it possible for you to tone down your handsomeness?"

Jinwoo laughs as he wraps his arms around Seunghoon's neck. "Sorry, no can do." Jinwoo places his lips on Seunghoon's neck below his ears. "They have to know who they are fighting against if they try to steal you away from me."

Jinwoo thinks they're being silly and cheesy. If it was the old him, he would have meant it in a threatening way as Jinwoo doesn't like it when something is taken away from him. But with Seunghoon, he just feels at ease and assured.

"It's actually for my own sake. You're stealing my favorite students." Seunghoon jokes which makes Jinwoo laughs harder.

For a moment, they stay in that position. Satisfied at the silence they share, breaths synchronized and hearts beating contentedly.

Jinwoo is the first one to pull away. He regards Seunghoon with gleaming eyes. "Seunghoon, why me?"

Jinwoo has always been curious but he can't bring himself to ask Seunghoon for so many times. He doesn't know why he seems scared of Seunghoon's answer.

Seunghoon seems to ponder about his question. He reaches for Jinwoo's left cheek, "I'm going to be very honest. At first, it's because of how you look."

Jinwoo feels like he is punched in the gut. Of course, it's always because of his appearance. He knows that, even admits that he used to like it that way. But he feels let down when the person he loves is also the same.

"During the party, you draw everyone's eyes and I'm no exception, Jinwoo." Seunghoon scratches his nape, almost ashamed of his confession. "It's like it's a disrespect to you if we don't give you even a single glance. But one glance wasn't enough for me. I just found myself eyeing you more times than I should have. One moment, I see you laughing. The next, you're in deep conversation with people. I thought it was amazing at how you displayed different facial expressions but still managed to look dashing and angelic. That was until you got mad at me." He chuckles.

"I was actually surprised that you were capable of that and flustered because I managed to anger an angel like you at our first meeting." Seunghoon entwines their hands together. "But at the same time I was amazed that you weren't afraid to show that side of you to a nobody like me back then. It was a nice lesson I learned from you."

"What lesson?"

"You really can't judge a book by its cover." Seunghoon pinches Jinwoo's nose.

Jinwoo feels a sting in his chest. He feels guilty for keeping Seunghoon in the dark. His Seunghoon who has always been honest to him.

"And each time that we meet again, I keep discovering a new side of you. I keep seeing new facial expressions from you, but you never smiled at me." Seunghoon cups Jinwoo's face to press a light kiss on his lips. "Do you know how frustrating it was to not get a smile from you?" Another kiss. "You smile to everyone else except me!"

"That's because you annoyed me to death." This time it is Jinwoo who gives a quick kiss.

"Why?"

"You're just too good, Seunghoon." Jinwoo replies. "Too good that you make me feel insecure. I just look like an angel, but between the two of us, you're the real angel."

Seunghoon shakes his head. He turns Jinwoo and pulls him to his chest as he snakes his arms around him, resting his chin on his left shoulder. "I want you to know that it doesn't matter to me what you've done before you met me, Jinwoo. What's important to me is what we currently have and I want this to last."

'Damn! He really loves this man.' Jinwoo twists his body and pulls on Seunghoon's nape so he can kiss him full on the lips. It is slow and sweet. Jinwoo is trying to communicate to Seunghoon how grateful he is that he loves him unconditionally despite omitting some facts about himself.

Seunghoon pulls away to catch his breath. He nuzzles Jinwoo's neck. "But do you know what I like the most about you?"

Jinwoo shakes his head.

"It's how you contradict yourself. You're a mystery and an open-book at the same time. I think even after spending 10 years with you, I will still not understand how your mind works." He chortles.

Seunghoon presses a kiss on Jinwoo's neck. "There's no boring moment with you. And I especially love it when you're being extremely frivolous. But I must say I'm very much whipped since the beginning." Jinwoo can feel Seunghoon smiling against his skin.

"Whipped?" Jinwoo rolls his eyes. "You even rejected my advances back then."

Seunghoon lays Jinwoo on his back then hovers over him. He stares affectionately at Jinwoo's eyes, "It's because I want my good intention and my heart to reach you first. I'm aware of other people's lustful desire for you, Jinwoo. And I don't want you to think that I'm like them."

"I'm going to be very honest." Jinwoo encircles his arms around Seunghoon's shoulders. "At first, I thought you were."

"I'm hurt."

"What about I make it up to you tonight?" Jinwoo smiles suggestively.

Seunghoon arches his brow. "Says the person who's been falling asleep even before we start anything in the past few nights."

"Guilty as charged." Jinwoo cackles. "In my defense, the children keeps draining my energy!"

He pulls Seunghoon closer to him. "Now, fuck me."

"Language, Mr. Kim."

"Oopsie!" Jinwoo grins. "Love me, then." He winks. "Love me, Seunghoon, love me."

And so he does.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinwoo doesn't know how long he can keep his secret from Seunghoon. He doesn't know if he can even confess it to him. So he plans to not bring it up at all. It’s for the safety of their happy bubble. For the sake of Jinwoo’s most precious treasure.

Until Seunghoon kneels in front of him and offers him a ring. "Please, marry me."

It's the peak of spring season and Seunghoon suggested a roadtrip to the countryside. He didn't mention where exactly they were heading but Jinwoo was excited that they'll be camping.

When they arrived at the campsite in the afternoon, Jinwoo was at awe seeing the beautiful meadow nearby because of different flowers in full bloom. Jinwoo ran through it then dropped his body to lie. It felt nice. He felt good.

Seunghoon followed him after he set up their tent and brought blanket for them to lie on. There's just the two of them in the campsite but they were enough to fill the place with their laughter as they exchange stories from their past and their moans as they made love under the stars that night.

The following morning, they hike the nearby mountain. The view from the peak reminds him of the view from his backyard, but this is more special because he has someone to appreciate it with. He squeezes Seunghoon's hand that is entwined with his.

That is when it happened.

"Kim Jinwoo, I promise to love you until my last breath. Please, marry me. Let's grow old together."

Shock is an understatement. Jinwoo is frozen. Suddenly, it's hard for him to breathe. His vision is blurry.

It is the same feeling when he was dying 99 years ago. And frankly, he feels like he's dying seeing Seunghoon's hopeful expression, knowing all too well he cannot give what he's asking for.

This isn't part of the plan. Committing himself to Seunghoon through marraige isn't part of it. He is supposed to spend at least ten blissful years with Seunghoon then start a big fight with him so he can disappear before he notices that he doesn't age at all. He is supposed to have six more years to prepare himself and Seunghoon.

No, he can't break Seunghoon's heart when he's still so in love like this.

But he doesn't want to give him false hope. They can't be together for a very long time. And he can't let Seunghoon be involved in his curse.

Jinwoo is so confused and he doesn't know what to do. So he runs.

"Jinwoo!"

He runs. He wants to hide, away from Seunghoon. He needs some time alone so he can think straight. He's afraid that if he stayed there, he might have made a decision that will be very unfair to Seunghoon.

This is why he didn't want to entertain his feelings for Seunghoon at the beginning. He knows he's going to end up hurting him one way or another.

He remembers Seunghoon's hopeful expression and he staggers. Jinwoo has to stop running so he can lean on a tree and throw up nothing but bile. He feels his insides twist and his chest constricts painfully. He feels lightheaded.

"Jinwoo!" Somehow, Seunghoon finds him. He holds him and shifts Jinwoo's weight on him. "Love, are you okay?"

"Yes." He gasps.

"Get on my back."

"No, I'm good. I can walk."

"Let me take care of you, Jinwoo."

Jinwoo has no energy left to argue with Seunghoon so he let him carry him on his back.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

Seunghoon doesn't reply.

Jinwoo is asleep the whole drive home. Or he tries to. He wants to avoid a conversation with Seunghoon, and he thinks Seunghoon is the same. But his mind is buzzing with so many thoughts at the same time.

What to say? How to explain without spilling too much? How can he protect Seunghoon from him? How can he not break his heart for the sake of his happiness? He's worried how Seunghoon will take everything that he may or may not say.

It's already evening when they arrive home. Seunghoon refuses his help in carrying their things upstairs and just tells Jinwoo to rest.

It kills Jinwoo to see the hurt in Seunghoon's eyes. So he goes straight to their room and stays there, hiding under the blanket.

It's past midnight when Seunghoon joins Jinwoo on the bed. He moves quietly and doesn't say anything. But Jinwoo hears his sigh. He feels Seunghoon's hand caresses his hair.

Jinwoo turns and scoots closer to Seunghoon. He wraps his arms around his waist and buries his face on his chest, tears start to spill again from his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Seunghoon stiffens for a second then embraces Jinwoo. "I'm sorry, too, if I kind of ambushed you."

Jinwoo shakes his head. It breaks his heart to hear pain in Seunghoon's voice.

"It's not your fault that I'm not yet ready for that." It is not Seunghoon's fault that Jinwoo is selfish and a coward.

Jinwoo knew from the very start that falling in love with Seunghoon is bad and going to end ugly but he listened to his self-serving heart anyway.

And now, he's afraid that Seunghoon will find out that the person he loves dearly is just a shell without a soul. He can't bring himself to tell Seunghoon how his soul is rotting in a painting and there's already a special place in hell for him. He's no angel. He can't promise to grow old together because he never will. And what if Jinwoo stays until Seunghoon's old age then resent him for growing old and enduring the handicap of aging alone? Jinwoo doesn't think he can handle that. He must not let Seunghoon turns into a spiteful person.

Seunghoon presses a firm kiss on Jinwoo's crown. "I can wait until when you're ready."

"I'm sorry." Jinwoo cries harder. He doesn't think he will ever be ready.

"Love, it's okay. You don't have to feel guilty. I understand."

"But I can't grow old with you." Jinwoo whispers.

"Shh. Stop saying nonsense. Forget about it. Pretend that it didn't happen. Just... stop crying. Please."

They stay that way for a long time. Jinwoo's sobs eventually subside. Then there's only silence. And neither of them wants to break it.

Jinwoo shifts so he can cup Seunghoon's face. He looks at his lover's eyes and he sees it tired and red. His Seunghoon has been silently crying behind his back, trying to be tough for the two of them. And selfish Jinwoo, didn't notice or think about it.

Seunghoon is the one rejected but he is the one understanding Jinwoo. He's the one who hurt Seunghoon but he's the one receiving comfort.

Jinwoo kisses Seunghoon's lips. "You know that rejecting your proposal doesn't mean I don't love you, right? You know that I love you more than anything in this world."

Seunghoon nods. He takes Jinwoo's right hand from his cheeks and showers his knuckles with feather-light kisses. "I'll get over this over time. I promise I don't have any hard feelings for you, my love."

‘Will you also get over me? Is it going to be possible if I stay a little longer?' Jinwoo thinks to himself as he watches Seunghoon closes his eyes. 'How can I possibly look you in the eye tomorrow knowing I hurt you a lot today and I will repeat it again in the future?'

Seunghoon falls asleep holding onto Jinwoo's hand. The crease between his eyebrows are straightened by Jinwoo's free hand.

"Always remember my last words." Jinwoo whispers as he presses a firm lingering kiss on Seunghoon's forehead. Then he gets up and leave.

He has come to a decision.

Jinwoo can't take any more time from Seunghoon's life. He must give it back to Seunghoon as early as now. He must not be too greedy to take up so much space in his heart and life. He may have scarred Seunghoon forever, but he hopes it'll be comparably smaller than if he stays any longer.

The last four years were the best thing that happened to Jinwoo in his already doomed life. And he thinks if he's really grateful to Seunghoon, he must not cage him in his life shrouded with darkness and sufferings.

He realizes that the memories he shared with Seunghoon in those four years are enough to last him a lifetime. Memories he will treasure as long as he lives, warm and bittersweet. Memories that he wants Seunghoon to forget in the future so he can go on with his life. Even though deep inside him, he doesn't want to be forgotten.

He exits the apartment building staggering, eyesight blurry because of tears. As he walks to where his car is parked, a figure comes into view. Jinwoo is surprised to see Mino standing in front of him.

"Mino." Jinwoo whispers and he runs to him. Hugs him so tight as if he is his lifeline. "You see? This is what I get by following my heart and happiness. I ended up hurting him." He wails.

"Let me do something to end your suffering, Jinwoo." Mino mumbles in his deep voice.

Puzzled, Jinwoo abruptly stops crying and pulls away. He looks at Mino's piercing eyes. Mino's eyes shifts to look somewhere past Jinwoo, somewhere above. Jinwoo traces where Mino is looking at and sees the balcony of Seunghoon's apartment.

Jinwoo shakes his head violently. "No! No!"

"Jinwoo, if I do this---"

"I said no!" Jinwoo shouts. "Leave Seunghoon's soul alone."

"It's not for you to decide. If he hears my offer---"

Jinwoo grabs Mino's collar. "Don't dare, Mino!" He threatens. "I won't let you turn Seunghoon into a monster he is afraid of becoming! Don't dare touch even a single strand of Seunghoon's hair!"

Mino sneered. "I will make sure not to touch your toy. But I really like to add him in my collection."

It was the first time in Jinwoo's existence that he throws a punch with everything he has. Jinwoo is heaving hard, shocked at what he did. "Why? Why are you doing this? I thought we're... we're... friends."

"I'm a demon, Jinwoo. I don't make friends." Mino brushes his thumbs on his ruptured lower lip.

Jinwoo falls on his knees. "Please, I'm begging you. Spare Seunghoon's soul. He's kind and he has never been crooked in his entire life. Please, don't."

"Those are my favorites, Jinwoo. Just like you. I love it when I corrupt innocent ones."

Jinwoo rises to his feet. "Who are you? You're not my Mino."

"No, I'm not yours. But you are mine." Mino dusts off his coat and turns to leave. "I lost interest now. I was even excited to reward you but this is how you repay me. Tsk."

Jinwoo feels a surge of anger on his chest. With fresh tears in his eyes, he snarls, "I don't want to see you again."

"We'll see about that." Mino responds and disappears in the darkness.


	4. SEUNGYOON

He was only supposed to mourn for his lost love. He didn't mean to end up like this.

How long has it been? Days? Weeks? Months? It's hard to tell since he hasn't left the house ever since he returned. Afraid that he might go running crazily back to Seunghoon once he steps outside and all his efforts until now will be rendered useless.

He still cries himself to sleep. He still has no appetite. And he just wants to drink his sadness and pain away. Like right now. He just came from his wine cellar and was about to go to his outdoor lounge when he clumsily and stupidly tripped over his own legs. The wine bottle and glass on his hands shattered, broken pieces under him pricking every skin from his torso to his arms and neck. Jinwoo knows he's bleeding and he can't seem to move his body due to lack of energy.

Jinwoo notices movements just outside the floor to ceiling window of the living room. In the corner of his eyes, he makes out a figure of a man. He likes to cry for help but he's just too pathetic at the moment that he can't even make a sound. It's not like he's dying. Funny but not really funny.

And suddenly, he hears a rush of feet. "Oh shit."

In just a few seconds, he feels warm hands raising him from his mess. "Oh shit. Oh shit. Hang in there, man. You can't die. Oh shit, what am I gonna do there's just so much blood?"

Jinwoo can clearly see the boy's feature now that he is facing him, cradled on the boy's arms. "Sunflower." He whispers.

"Oh my, you're delirious now!"

Jinwoo beckons him to come closer and the boy follows, "I'm not really dying. And it's red wine, not my blood."

The boy pulls away with an even more horrified look on his face. Jinwoo smiles weekly and put a hand peppered with small cuts on the boy's fluffy cheek. "Sunflower."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The boy is helping Jinwoo attend to his wounds. Nothing really serious, but it's a shame to ruin such porcelain skin.

"What a dramatic way to meet you, hyung." The boy says while haphazardly putting a band aid on Jinwoo's right-side jaw.

"Thank you for saving me." Jinwoo smiles at the boy who is as warm as the sun.

He's tall and skinny with blond hair, foxy eyes, plump cheeks and full lips. He's beautiful and dazzling. Jinwoo knew from the moment he laid eyes on him that he's the owner of the sunflower painting. The boy is glowing with energy.

Jinwoo is putting back the betadine cream inside the first-aid kit when he asks, "By the way, what urgent business made you trespass on my property?"

"Oh, you're the owner of this place?" The boy has the most excessive facial expression and body language. If Jinwoo's going to use a pop-culture term, he'll use meme-worthy.

Jinwoo nods.

"Please, don't call the police." The boy presses his hands together in front of Jinwoo, begging. "I don't want to get in trouble. I'm already in my last year in college, I don't want to blow up my future."

"You should have thought of that before you broke in." Jinwoo responds.

"Let's just say I was fated to do this so I could help you earlier."

"Fair enough." This response from Jinwoo seems to brighten up the boy. "So, going back. What are you doing here? This place is really far and hidden. How did you even know this place exists?"

The boy bites on his plump lower lip then scratch his head. "I was hoping to see Mino. I may or may not stalk him once when he came here."

"Oh, right." Jinwoo bobs his head, recalling the boy's reason for selling his soul. He looks like an intelligent kid, he wonders how Mino managed to sweep him off his feet. "I'm sorry to disappoint you but he's not here. We may or may not got into a huge fight and I may and may not told him to get lost forever."

The boy gasps. "Are you also...?"

"Yep."

"What did you wish for?"

"Just petty things like youth and beauty but Mino gave me a bonus second life."

The boy gasps again, this time exaggeratedly loud. "How old are you?"

"24."

The boy gives him a blank expression. "Is this where I'll ask, 'How long have you been 24?'"

Jinwoo laughs as he ruffles his hair. "I've been around even before the second world war."

"That long?!" He's eyes wide with shock.

"I'm 123 years old now."

"Hal-abeoji!"

Jinwoo tackles the boy playfully. "How dare you call me that?! Do I look like a gramps to you?"

The boy is laughing, his husky voice sounds like music. "Anyway if you're physically 24, then I'm older than you. I'm 26 now. I should be the one you're calling hyung."

"Hyung your face, sunflower. Presently, I'm 29."

"Why do you keep calling me, Sunflower?" The boy, no, the man asks indignantly. "My name is Seungyoon."

"Seung... yoon?" Jinwoo is taken aback. Suddenly, all the pain comes rushing into him. Tears pooling his eyes.

"Yes, hyung?" Seungyoon is suddenly alarmed. "Are you hurt? Where?"

Jinwoo just points at his heart.

"Eh?"

"The love of my life who is now my ex, his name is Seunghoon!" Jinwoo wails. "Why are your names almost the same? Just one fucking letter!"

Seungyoon is at a loss for words. At first, he finds it comical that Jinwoo is suddenly balling his eyes out at the mention of his ex-lover. But Seungyoon can actually feel Jinwoo's grief from the sound he makes, pain, regret and longing. Seungyoon can't do anything but to pat sympathetically on the shoulder of a beautiful angel ugly crying in front of him.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I can't call you by your name or else I'll be crying every damn time."

"But stop calling me sunflower. At least call me Yoon. That's better." Seungyoon complains as he rummages Jinwoo's refrigerator and cupboards. "Gosh! How did you survive without food?"

"But you are sunflower." Jinwoo shrugs as he watches Seungyoon moves around.

Jinwoo has no choice but to warm up right away to Seungyoon. Aside from the fact that they are both part of Mino's collection, Seunghoon had changed him. He taught Jinwoo to let people in. Jinwoo fights back his tears as he remembers Seunghoon again.

"Wait. Don't tell me Mino hasn't shown you the painting?" Jinwoo asks curiously.

"What painting?" Seungyoon inquires.

"Your painting."

"I don't paint. I only take pictures." He says as he return to the living room with a pack of potato chips and a bottle of coke.

Jinwoo quickly grabs Seungyoon's hand once he is seated. He pulls him to his feet and tugs him to the direction of the stairs.

"Hyung, my food. I'm really hungry." He protests.

"Forget it, they are already expired anyway." Jinwoo drags him upstairs to the second floor. "So you mean to say Mino didn't orient you about this whole I'mma-grant-your-wish-in-exhange-of-your-soul-thing?"

"Eh? I thought the sex was the standard initiation rites? Is there more?"

"There's no standard initiation rites actually. It's up to Mino how he likes to seal the deal. And it seems to me that he just wanted to get into your pants right away." Jinwoo leads Seungyoon to his bedroom then make Seungyoon kneel on the upholstered bench at the feet of his bed.

"Wait, hyung." Seungyoon panicks. "I'm strictly monogamous!"

"Shut up and just look ahead, silly."

Seungyoon does as he's told and he sees a beautiful painting of a sunflower in front of him. He can't help his, "Wow!"

Jinwoo sits down next to where Seungyoon is kneeling. "Mino creates an artwork to house the soul that he takes from us. He makes sure that he captures your identity in the painting. Mino only collects the most beautiful people because he likes creating beautiful artworks. Just like you." Jinwoo smiles earnestly on the man beside him. Seungyoon's eyes are twinkling with unshed tears.

"But since his artworks reflect our soul, it becomes ugly every time we do something bad. And it looks like you've been a good boy for the last 5 years. And I commend you for that. Yours is still as beautiful as when he painted it."

"I can't believe this is how I look like in Mino's eyes. I always thought I'm not good enough because he keeps on disappearing." Seungyoon's smile is bittersweet.

"You must understand that Mino is not from this world. He likes his freedom and he easily gives in to his greed and needs." Jinwoo reaches to Seungyoon and rubs his back. "But I've known him for so long and I just know you're special to him."

Jinwoo suddenly remembers the last night he saw Mino. He thought he knows him. But is he wrong all along? That was the first time he saw that side of Mino. Jinwoo shakes his head.

"How long has he been missing this time?" Jinwoo inquires.

Seungyoon sighs. "Four months. It's the longest so far. And I'm about to lose my mind." He flops down on the bench beside Jinwoo.

"The longest he can be MIA is four years. Just so you know." Jinwoo bumps his shoulder to Seungyoon. "But the fact that he frequently visits you in the last five years means something, don't you think?"

Seungyoon rubs his eyes and sighs. "How did you managed all these years?"

Jinwoo shrugs. "I just stopped expecting. Mino made it clear from the very start that I'm just a masterpiece and that I'm all on my own in this second life he gave me. He never interfered with my business, though I'm glad he was always there when I felt like self-destructing. Looking back now, I think I might actually have done some pretty bad things in the past just so he would come to me."

"Were you in love with him?" Seungyoon whispers anxiously.

"At some point I thought I was." Jinwoo admits. "I had a terrible past which led to trust issues. When I craved for companionship in the past, I always sought Mino. The silly me thought my dependency to Mino was love. Until I finally found out how love really feels like."

Jinwoo gives Seungyoon a sympathetic look. "I've come to realize a long time ago that it's impossible for Mino to fall for someone. He's just too tough and void. Though there are rare times he tries to be emphatic and considerate."

"I don't like to believe that just because Mino is a demon, it also means he doesn't have a heart." Seungyoon sighs as he sits on the bench beside Jinwoo. "Whenever I look into his eyes, I can feel something humane buried deep inside him."

 _'Bless Seungyoon for his pure and non-judgemental heart.'_ Jinwoo thinks. He leans Seungyoon's head on his shoulder.

"He must really care about you a lot for you to see that."

"Aren't you going to scold me and tell me that I'm just being blinded by my love for him?"

"I admit Mino is an asshole but he won't lead you on and make you feel special if you aren't really that special to him." Jinwoo plays with Seungyoon's fringes. "He rarely takes care of his masterpieces once he claimed them. But he kept coming back for you all this time."

"But why is he nowhere to be found now? Where is he? Do you think he suddenly realized that he doesn't want me anymore?" Seungyoon's voice sounds so uncertain and insecure.

It hurts Jinwoo's heart. He wonders if this is also the same thoughts Seunghoon is having in the last four months. Tears start to pool around his eyes.

"Maybe he's doing this for the better. I'm sure he has his reasons. Have faith in him, okay?"

He feels Seungyoon nods. They were both silent at the moment. Two soulless people with broken hearts, longing for their lovers. They are sharing the same fate and pain.

"Can I stick with you until Mino comes around? I'm just really lonely lately." Seungyoon asks quietly as he pulls away.

"Staying here can't guarantee he will come around anytime soon." Jinwoo warns.

"That's fine. I have you here." He grins like a puppy. "I feel like I instantly gain an older brother."

"Okay. You're very much welcome." Jinwoo ruffles Seungyoon's hair. "I have a spare room next door. And I haven't really met someone like me for ages. I can use a company."

Seungyoon gives him a hug.

"I have to warn you though. I can be very insufferable."

"I'll manage." Seungyoon says confidently. "But hyung, please, just call me Yoon."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinwoo had never been an older brother before. But he thinks he's doing a great job caring for and doting Seungyoon.

"Are you seriously letting me drive this car, hyung?" Seungyoon's voice is high-pitched with disbelief as he stares at a gray two-door Maserati Spyder in front of him. Seungyoon knows it's an old model, but still, it's an expensive car he never thought he will ever be able to drive for the rest of his challenging life.

"Yeah, I think I'll stick with the SUV. Besides, it will be hard for you to go back and forth to the university if you don't have a car."

"Hyung!" Seungyoon hugs him tight then tugs at Jinwoo's arm. "Let's go for a test drive! I've never drove a luxury car before. I need you to guide me."

"Wait, Yoon, no! I'm not going anywhere!" Jinwoo hugs on a foundation column of the garage

"Come on! I promise I won't drive to the city."

"Yoon!"

Seungyoon shoves his puppy dog eyes in front of Jinwoo's face. "Pretty please?"

Jinwoo can't resist that look so he sighs in resignation. "Okay, okay. I need you to chain me to the passenger seat though. So I won't run off."

Seungyoon just laughs at him. "Let's do some grocery shopping as well while we're at it. We need to stock up your kitchen."

They both get in the car, Seungyoon is scrutinizing the dashboard to familiarize himself.

"Maybe we should shop for your clothes as well." Jinwoo offers.

"Nah, that's too much, hyung."

"It's okay." Jinwoo takes out his black card. "It's been a long time since I last used this. Let's fill up your closet."

"Hyung!" It's Seungyoon's turn to complain.

"I'm not taking no for an answer." Jinwoo just shrugs him off. "This is your punishment from dragging me along."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinwoo's breakdowns become a little bearable for him ever since Seungyoon starts living with him in the house. The boy is basically a bouncing ball of sunshine. He lightens up the house with just his presence and laughter. And Jinwoo feels secured now that he has someone to lean on during his worst days.

True to his words though, Jinwoo can be super duper mega ultra insufferable and Seungyoon is getting tired of it already.

"I really want to go to him right now and beg him to take me back." Jinwoo whimpers after gulping down his nth glass of whisky.

"How many times have you said that? But you never did anyway." Seungyoon drinks his beer. He has heard the same words from Jinwoo too often he thinks he has it memorized already.

"Seungyoon, look at me." Seungyoon obeys nonchalantly.

"Promise me that when I got drunk, you will stop me from going, okay?" Jinwoo slurs then drops his head on the center table with a thud.

"Yes, hyung."

1\. 2. 3. 4.

Jinwoo springs to his feet like a mad man. Well, he is mad.

"I love him so much. I want to see him right now!" And Jinwoo exits the living room to the hallway. A few steps left between him and the front door yet he still hasn't heard any movement from Seungyoon.

"Seungyoon!"

"Yes?"

"I said I want to see him!"

"Okay. Drive safely."

Jinwoo shuffles back to the living room. "I told you to stop me!"

"Stop being a drama queen, hyung. If you have the courage to see him, you would've gone a long time ago."

"Seungyoon, do you want to get kicked out?" Jinwoo warns.

"Fine." Seungyoon stands and come closer to Jinwoo. He raises Jinwoo's right arm and places it in both his hands. "Don't go, hyung." He acts like how you see in dramas Jinwoo likes to watch. "Kajima. Ka.ji.maaaa!"

Jinwoo collapses and cry some serious tears once more. And Seungyoon, being a loyal puppy that he is, just hugs Jinwoo and listens to his guttural cry.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Seungyoon looks at the guy named Seunghoon from the passenger seat of Jinwoo's car. He can see that the guy is really attractive, no wonder Jinwoo is having a hard time forgetting him.

And unlike the man beside him who always looks tired, whose cheeks are sunken and eyes surrounded by dark circles, the other man looks great and is functioning well.

Seungyoon sighs. "Jinwoo-hyung, why are we here?"

"Is it a crime to check up on him?" Jinwoo asks defensively as he wraps his hands tightly around the steering wheel.

"No. But are you a masochist?" Seungyoon retorts.

Jinwoo looks at him, sunglasses hiding his red-rimmed eyes. "I just want to make sure he's doing well."

"And what if he isn't, theoretically?"

Jinwoo withdraws his hands and entwines it on his lap. His eyes following it. "I--- I don't know."

"I don't understand why you have to make yourself suffer like this when you still love him this much." Seungyoon says, a little irritated.

"Because I'm not good for him." Jinwoo whispers. "If only we met under different circumstances..."

Jinwoo had told Seungyoon his love and break up story. And he can't really say he understands Jinwoo. He thinks he has a point but he also thinks Jinwoo just complicated things.

"You're not making sense to me." Seungyoon snaps. "You think your paths would have still crossed if you didn't sell your soul and live long enough? You should have just sucked it all up and didn't leave him."

"But I don't want to expose him in our world! Besides, he looks great now. I know I made the right decision."

"Hyung, this is stupid. Okay, let's say he has moved on. What now? How about you? Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Just because you're beauty is guaranteed doesn't mean you won't look bad. Because frankly, you look awful."

Jinwoo sighs in resignation. "I'm tired. Let's go home."

"Right. Run away again."

"Damn it, Seungyoon." Jinwoo punches the steering wheel which causes its horn to blare. "What do you want me to do? Show up at his front door and throw his life into a disarray again? I've done enough damage!"

This is the first time Jinwoo lashes out like this to Seungyoon and the first time he calls him in his full first name. Seungyoon is gaping in surprise.

"Move on? It's easier said than done." Jinwoo throws his sunglasses somewhere in the backseat so he can harshly brush his tears away. "He is the best thing that ever happened to me! It was an unforgettable love, or at least for me. I can't let it go so easily. Not when I can still feel it in my heart how it feels like to be loved by that wonderful man, the happiness he gave is still lingering warmly in my chest. Not when I feel like I'm dying when I think about how he's doing so well forgetting about me now." He chokes.

Jinwoo's eyes are livid. He's very angry, but not to Seungyoon or to Seunghoon. He's angry towards himself. He's furious that it was his choice but it's him who is still holding on, standing stranded on the same ground. He's enraged that he keeps lurking around Seunghoon like a ghost when he is supposed to let him go on with his life. The way he contradicts himself and his decisions reminds him of what Seunghoon loves about him the most and it chokes him to death.

Jinwoo quickly wills himself to stop crying and recover. The sobs stopped but his tears are still continuously streaming down his lovely face. He starts the engine and drives away.

Seungyoon sees on the side mirror how Seunghoon's head turns as his eyes follow Jinwoo's car when it moves past the daycare. Seungyoon thinks this is plain and utterly stupid but there are tears forming in his eyes.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It's late afternoon and it's Seungyoon's turn to have a major breakdown. Apparently, it has been exactly a year since he last saw Mino.

Seungyoon has always been optimistic and emotionally strong. He thinks that Mino's absence led him to Jinwoo, to whom he so easily formed brotherly ties with. And instead of moping, unlike Jinwoo, he redirected his longing for Mino to completing his degree that was way overdue.

Seungyoon just misses Mino so much today and without any distraction, he can't seem to hold it all inside anymore.

He comes barging in to Jinwoo's room, not minding that Jinwoo is having a moment of his own, soaking a dress shirt that used to be Seunghoon's with his tears, and just buries his face in Jinwoo's abdomen. He lets out his uncontrallable cry which makes Jinwoo panic as he sets aside his own pain to comfort Seungyoon, brushing his hair. Offering only his warmth and presence, no promises that it's going to be okay or crying will make him feel better. Because he knows it won't. Nothing can mend their brokenness but the persons they love the most.

After a while, Seungyoon eventually stops and feels very tired.

They are silent. Eyes lifeless and lost in their own individual pain.

"Hyung," Seungyoon's hoarse voice breaks the silence. Jinwoo looks down on him. "I got a job offer to travel all over the world so I can take pictures of landscapes."

Jinwoo's hand stops brushing Seungyoon's hair. "Is that so? I guess the house will be silent again." Jinwoo smiles sadly.

Seungyoon tucks the strands of Jinwoo's hair that is blocking his eyes. "I want you to come with me."

Jinwoo's eyes softens. "Yoonie---"

"We have to go on with our lives."

"I am going on with my life."

"This isn't life. You're imprisoning yourself." Seungyoon traces the dark circle under Jinwoo's left eye. "Come with me and let's leave it all behind."

"I don't want to forget him." Jinwoo bites his lip as he fights back his tears. "I'm scared that if I forget about him and the love we shared, it will all feel like just a sad beautiful dream. Like it never happened and it was just me imagining things."

Seungyoon gets up to sit in front of Jinwoo. "I'm not asking you to forget about him or stop loving him. I don't think I can also do the same to Mino. But we have to put ourselves back together."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Seungyoon's project only lasted a year but they've gone to a lot of places that were new to them. The trip was exhausting yet satisfying. They experienced camping in the middle of nowhere, under the stars or crying dark clouds. They had close encounters with wild animals, both ferocious and tame ones.

And Jinwoo tended to always wander on his own absentmindedly and end up lost that Seungyoon almost had heart attacks multiple times. Strangely though, Jinwoo would just smile at Seungyoon tenderly and apologetically and all Seungyoon's worries would fade, even though his face and body sustained few scratches from his misadventures. With Seungyoon, Jinwoo felt like he could be a child again. Ignorant, innocent and carefree. Because Seungyoon was there to take care of him, even though in reality he is older.

While in America, Seungyoon met a group of zoologists and botanists who tried to recruit him as a photographer for their research. He liked the challenge and change of pace but he was worried about Jinwoo.

Jinwoo, not wanting to hold back Seungyoon, suggested for them to part for a while and broaden their horizon separately. It was saddening for Jinwoo as he grew accustomed to Seungyoon's permanent presence in his life, but he also didn't want to be a burden to Seungyoon if he joins them. Despite Seungyoon's reluctance, Jinwoo headed to the Artic coast of Alaska and took interest in living with eskimos while Seungyoon flew to Southeast Asia and explore its rainforests.

They adapted well and they enjoyed what they were doing. But it only took them six months before they ran back to each other like their lives depended on one another. It was true that absence makes the heart grow fonder because when they finally met again, they crossed a line they couldn't turn back from.

They both have people they would always love and hold dearly for the rest of their lives, names that they would still utter silently when they woke up in the middle of the night from a wonderful yet sad dream. But the other would always kiss the longing away, providing peace and comfort. It would have been a miserable sad life if they hadn't met but they naturally co-exist now as if to give each other purpose, nothing to hide and everything to give.

They travelled more, settling in one country for 2-3 years then move again. Forged their documents to change their identities a few times to avoid suspicion about their timeless appearance. But they are happy caring for each other. They are happy living this life together.

Until they no longer notice how many years have passed. Until they finally feel at peace in returning to where they started. After 64 years.

"Wow! It doesn't look like it was unoccupied for a very long time." Seungyoon marvels as he skim his fingers on the furnitures of Jinwoo's old house.

Back then, Jinwoo's house is considered state of the art, modern and ecologically sustainable. But now, it looks ancient. Jinwoo notices some slight changes, probably renovated to strengthen the whole structure, but the design and layout remains the same.

The house is just covered by thin layers of dust with no signs of decay and the plants outside didn't overgrow much. "It looks like Mino has been staying here and maintaining the place."

Jinwoo looks at Seungyoon, waiting for his reaction on his words. But Seungyoon just shrugs and jokes, "He probably thought he's the king of this place when you were gone, hyung."

Jinwoo just pecks on the tip of Seungyoon's nose and smiles warmly to him. Seungyoon smiles back appreciating the thought Jinwoo's eyes are conveying.

After settling down, Jinwoo sits on his bed next to Seungyoon, the painting above their heads glowing warmly as ever.

Seungyoon is typing on his laptop. "Hyung, I've received a reply from the nursing home. They said they are glad to accept my proposal on featuring the elders on my upcoming exhibit."

After lying low on the photography field for a few decades, Seungyoon decided to make a name for himself in this era. He is confident with the experience he has accumulated and techniques he has learned that his images won't be compared to this past works at all. And he is quite famous nowadays, people are praising and patronizing his exhibits.

"Really? That's a wonderful news." Jinwoo gives Seungyoon a one-armed hug and plants a kiss on his temple.

"They said the elders unanimously gave their consent and are excited to share their stories through their portraits." Seungyoon beams proudly.

"I really think your concept is a great idea. Growing old until you're all wrinkled and forgetful is something that everyone fears yet not everyone achieves." Jinwoo says thoughtfully.

Jinwoo stopped imagining himself growing old when Mino granted his wish. But there was a delusional part of him that gave in to imagining about it when he was with Seunghoon. But of course, all those imagining was useless. All he should be focusing now is spending the eternity with Seungyoon.

The next day, they travel for 6 six hours by land to reach the nursing home located on a mountainside in a province.

The place is surrounded by trees which helps to keep out the pollution. The facility itself looks like a very big vacation house, wooden and homey.

They are welcomed by a staff. Jinwoo helps Seungyoon carry his equipment inside the facility.

"I'm Son Yebin. Thank you so much for choosing us. It's great to have a new activity for the elders once in a while." The woman dressed in patterned scrub says, long hair in ponytail and a pair of prescription glasses perched on her nose. She looks like she's on her early thirties.

"The pleasure is ours. I'm Kang Seungyoon, I am the photographer. And this is Kim Jinwoo, my partner. He'll conduct short interviews so we will know how to convey their stories in their portraits."

They shake hands as they exchange pleasantries.

"I won't set up a particular studio, I'd like their backgrounds to be the place where they normally stay." Seungyoon informs the staff. "I want to capture them on their natural state."

Yebin nods. "We can make it look like they are just having their afternoon teas. But I'm warning you, they are really excited to see new and young faces so they will be very noisy and full of energy."

Seungyoon and Jinwoo finds the group of seniors in the garden, huddling happily and looking their best. Both of them introduce themselves and bow to them. Then they start on their work as they interact with them.

"Ah, it must be great to be so young." A male elder expresses.

"Wow! You two are so breathtakingly beautiful!" An elderly lady exclaims. "You should be in front of the lens, not behind."

All the other elders seem to agree and Jinwoo and Seungyoon just exchange looks and laughs at each other.

"Are you still single? Do you mind if I arrange you to meet with my granddaughter?"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I'm very much taken." Jinwoo politely declines.

"My gosh! Your eyesight has really gone bad now, Su-im! Can't you see that they are together?"

A camera flash.

"Perfect!" Seungyoon compliments as he takes shot after shot of everyone, sneaking a few shots of Jinwoo showing his dimpled bright smile.

Seungyoon and Jinwoo is almost done. All the elders are cheerful and still full of life despite having difficulty in moving and walking. The two of them are having a lot of fun interacting with them and knowing their stories.

"The elders here have different varying stories, of struggles, happiness and learning lessons." Jinwoo confides to Seungyoon as they browse through the pictures Seungyoon had taken. "They are spending their old age here because either their family can't or don't want to take care of them, they outlived their loved ones, or they don't want to be a burden to their remaining family members. But they find solace in each other and they became a source of strength for each other.

"Funny how they are just like us but unlike them, we can't see the end of this." Jinwoo adds quietly.

Seungyoon intertwines their hands. "Are you tired already?"

Jinwoo understands that Seungyoon's question isn't just referring to his physical state at the moment. But he shakes his head and leans on Seungyoon's shoulder. "You're still here with me. You give me strength."

Jinwoo has already lost a lot, family, friends and a lover. But as long as he has Seungyoon, he knows he still has a reason to live.

Yebin approaches them and asks "How was it?"

"Amazing!" Seungyoon interjects. He has no other words to express how delighted he is towards the elders.

"Uhm... Yebin?" Jinwoo calls and asks out of curiosity, "Who among them is the oldest one here?"

"Oh, if you mean from the ones who participated, it's Lady Su-im. She's 85. But the eldest of them all is old Lee, he's 92 and quite frail now. He has just woken up from his afternoon nap that's why he couldn't participate."

Jinwoo doesn't know why but his heart suddenly constricts and his breathing quickens at the mention of 'old Lee'.

"I don't think he'll mind if you will also include him." Yebin continues.

"Are you sure? You said he's already quite frail." Seungyoon worries.

"Actually, he was one of those who felt really excited about this project so I think he's going to be sad if he learns he was excluded."

Jinwoo breaks in cold sweat. He's having a hard time gulping the lump in his throat.

"I can guarantee you that he's sweet and charming, the gentlest and most cheerful elder here." Yebin declares as she leads them to a quieter part of the garden.

Jinwoo's hand tightly wraps itself on Seungyoon’s which makes Seungyoon give Jinwoo a puzzled look.

"He outlived his wife and had no children to take care of him, so one day he just showed up here and admitted himself." Yebin smiles sadly. "The doctors kept saying he doesn't have much time left for the last four years but he just kept exceeding their expectation. He said he can't leave yet because he's still waiting for someone."

Jinwoo doesn’t know why his heart is thumping hard and painfully in his chest.

They stop walking several steps from an elder who is on a wheelchair. With how much his body is hunched, it's evident that he is tall during his prime years.

"I'm going to leave you here with him. Please, do this for him." She pleads then walks away.

"Hyung..." Seungyoon whispers as he tries to support Jinwoo's shaking body. He understands what's happening and it pains him to see Jinwoo again acting like this. "You don't have to."

But Jinwoo takes a dragging step toward the elder. One slow and heavy step after another until he's in front of him.

The elder looks up to him with squinted eyes. And Jinwoo just wants to die right there and then. Despite the lines and some blothches caused by aging, Jinwoo will never forget the face he kept looking for in the crowd in the last 64 years, especially his eyes.

Jinwoo's legs give away. He falls down to his knees looking at the only man he ever loved with his whole being. "Seunghoon."

Seunghoon smiles, the same affectionate smile he gives to Jinwoo before. "Jinwoo, love."


	5. FOUR EVER

Seunghoon has already forgotten a lot of things due to old age. But when he sees the beautiful tear-stained face of the only person he loved unconditionally, memories rush into him like a flashflood and suddenly he is back to the day he woke up without Jinwoo beside him.

He was shell-shocked. He was confused. He was broken.

He hurriedly checked for Jinwoo's things but everything was still in place. His clothes still in his wardrobe. His favorite shampoo and body wash are still in the bathroom. His shoes are still in the shoe rack. Seunghoon should've felt relieved that everything was still in place and that his apartment was still covered by trails left by Jinwoo just like every ordinary day. But he knew something wasn't right.

He tried to convince himself that Jinwoo was only out to buy things from the market, planning to cook something for him to make peace with him. He tried to persuade himself that Jinwoo just needed more time to think, justifying the fact that he hadn't been home for a week. He worried that something might had happened to him, like an accident or anything, that's why he couldn't even call after a month. He tried to think of a lot of other reasons, pretending to be understanding, just to cover up the sickening knot he felt at the pit of his stomach whenever he comes home to an empty apartment.

Sometimes, he thought he could see him in the crowd or riding a car that passed him by. But after six months, Seunghoon finally gave up. He let his strong facade crumble and his tears to fall. He let his body fall and curl into a ball.

He had to quit his job because he could no longer face the children with a mask of a smile plastered on his face. He couldn't go out, not wanting to risk to miss Jinwoo once he suddenly decided to drop by to fetch his things while Seunghoon is away at work. He was ready to beg him to stay, to promise to never bring up the subject ever again. And he blamed himself for scaring Jinwoo away.

Truth be told, he had found hints before that what he had with Jinwoo wouldn't be permanent. Whenever he tries bringing up long-term plans, Jinwoo would just smile but wouldn't participate, wouldn't give his inputs, wouldn't share what he thinks. He would just smile... politely and not even excitedly. But Seunghoon thought he could change Jinwoo's mind, once he showered him with all the love he's capable of, once he showed Jinwoo what it's like to have something permanent that makes you happy, once Jinwoo learned to accept that not every day is rainbows and butterflies in their relationship. Seunghoon thought proposing would show his utmost sincerity about wanting Jinwoo to be with him for the rest of his life.

But he was wrong and that left him devastated. He started cursing Jinwoo, calling him liar for saying he loved Seunghoon more than anything in this world, because if that's true, he shouldn't had hurt him this much. He started hating the two sets of indoor slippers and the blue apron with rabbit on it. He tossed bottle after bottle of soju with so much force, intending them to break and spill and be gone. He threw away all skincare products on his dresser. He sold the customized gaming computer. Every day, he would get rid of anything that would remind him of Jinwoo. Every day, he would little by little erase him. But still, he couldn't touch the clothes left in his wardrobe.

There were nights he would pray that it was only just a nightmare, that once he wakes up the following morning, Jinwoo would be there smiling lovingly at him. He asked God to bring Jinwoo back or lead him to where Jinwoo is. He pleaded for a second chance or even just to know the reason why they had to separate like this. He begged and begged until he could no longer feel anything.

Eventually, the tears stopped. The delusions ended. He stopped praying. He stopped wanting. He stopped hoping. Seunghoon's world halted. He started moving in auto-pilot, still alive but barely breathing, present but not quite. He was only there for the sake of existing.

And that's when he ran away. He hiked to the mountain rage of Himalayas with nothing but a handful of thick clothes on his back. He struggled from all the physical labor and coldness but it was better than dealing with the coldness inside of him.

When he came home, he decided to move out so he can be freed from all the lingering feelings. He was moving the bedside table when a piece of crumpled sticky note fell from its back to the floor. There was only two words; I'm sorry.

Seunghoon sat on the bed and imagined all the fun times he had with Jinwoo at every corner of his apartment. He bit his dry lips and tasted his salty tears. He believed that Jinwoo had valid reasons to leave, knowing how silly he could be, he probably thought he's doing it for him. Seunghoon just wished Jinwoo could have explained.

It was the last time Seunghoon cried because of Jinwoo.

"You're still as breathtaking as when I first met you." Seunghoon breathes. He can no longer remember how long has it been since he last saw Jinwoo but right now, he is reminded of everything about Jinwoo; the contours of Jinwoo's face, soft lips, silky hair, rich scent, warm touch, bright eyes, endearing smiles and gentle voice.

Seunghoon reaches his bony fingers to Jinwoo's cheek and feels the tears. "Please, stop crying, love. My last memory of you was your crying face."

"My god, Seunghoon! I don't deserve this." Jinwoo cries out. "Curse me. Hurt me. That's what I deserve."

"I can't do that." Seunghoon shakes his head slowly. "I've waited for this moment to see you again. I waited so long for your return. And at last, you're here."

Jinwoo looks at him with searching eyes. "Aren't you even surprised of... of... me?" he whispers.

Seunghoon shakes his head once again. "I've met someone who knows you a long time ago and at that time I realized what you meant when you said we can't grow old together. I just wished you could have told me. We could've arrived at a decision together." His voice is hoarse and he has to cough after speaking.

Seunghoon met a stranger when he came down from the Himalayas. It was at night, the sky is dark and cloudy, the moon was hiding and Seunghoon was roaming unfamiliar streets. He didn't really know where to go. He felt tired but at the same time he didn't want to sleep. He hiked the Himalayas hoping he would meet his end there, but here he was, still dragging his feet to wherever the road might lead him.

He lost his balance and fell on his knees. He sat on the side of the road, drank from his water canteen and just stared blankly ahead. Not minding the few people who would look at him as they walked by.

Then his view was suddenly blocked by a person. He had to look up the man in front of him. Sharp cheekbones and jawlines, small mouth and intense dark eyes.

"What is it that you want the most right now?"

Seunghoon was taken aback by the sudden question of the stranger. He thought the man was crazy but at the same time he had an answer ready to that question.

"Excuse me?" Seunghoon blinked. "Do I know you?"

"No. But I do know you. And I don't have much time to spare. So tell me, do you want Jinwoo back?"

That jolted Seunghoon to his feet. He took a few steps back to put distance between him and the stranger. "I don't know what your deal is but leave Jinwoo alone."

"Just fucking answer the question." The stranger's tone sounded impatient and hostile. "Just tell me what you want and I can give you your eternal damnation so you can be with Jinwoo again."

With the way the man's eyes were piercing Seunghoon, he knew he's dangerous. He could feel the goosebumps all over his body. But what he said made Seunghoon more confused and curious.

"What do you mean?"

The stranger laughed without humor. "He is stupid for trying to keep you in the dark."

"What do you know about Jinwoo?"

"I know a lot of things about him, even the ones he never told you." His voice deep and menacing. "But that isn't important right now. He can have all the time in the world to tell you everything once I grant you your wish."

Seunghoon might wanted to end his life now that Jinwoo was gone. He had no reason to live anymore. But Seunghoon knew deep inside of him that Jinwoo meant every word he said, despite calling him a liar. That's the realization he had when he was at the summit. For whatever reason, Jinwoo just couldn't stay but he would want him to continue with his life. The fact that Jinwoo omitted some facts about him for the sake of keeping their relationship free from the skeleton on his closet was enough proof that Jinwoo just wanted what's best for both of them.

Seunghoon shook his head. "Did Jinwoo ask you to do this?"

There was silence. The kind of aura the man in front of him exuded seemed like not from this world. Seunghoon still could not comprehend everything up to this encounter but he thought he might have the slightest clue despite being unbelievable.

"Does he know that you're doing this behind his back?"

Another silence. More hostile glares. But Seunghoon wasn’t threatened at all.

"I wish to honor whatever Jinwoo's decision. I don't like his sacrifices to end up useless."

"You both are making a big mistake!"

"At least we're making this mistake together." Seunghoon started to walk away. Away from the stranger who is the epitome of temptation. Seunghoon was afraid he would change his mind so he walked and walked non-stop. Because if he's going to be honest, he wanted to see Jinwoo one more time. He wanted to feel his warmth again. He wanted Jinwoo all to himself like a monster imprisoning an angel.

But for Jinwoo's sake, he didn't want to be that monster. So he ran away from his feelings. He locked it away and went on with his life.

He tried falling in love again with the people who helped him put himself back together, but nothing felt as natural as when he fell for Jinwoo. He had relationships but none of them was as fulfilling as what he had with Jinwoo. He kept looking for Jinwoo in them and he was aware how unfair it was so he always ended up breaking it off with them.

His heart has always been longing for Jinwoo and Jinwoo alone.

Until he met his wife. She was patient and accepting. Persistent yet never asking for too much. A selfless saint who treated Seunghoon's wounds. He was a charity case that eventually became more. The feelings Seunghoon had for her were different from what he had for Jinwoo and somehow, like an ember tired of burning, he finally felt at peace with her.

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that." Jinwoo snivels. "But I don't understand. Why are you waiting for me?"

"To tell you that you are not at fault." Seunghoon whispers raspy. "To assure you that it was a wise decision. To tell you to finally forgive yourself.

“And that I have always loved you."

Jinwoo bows his head as he cries some more. His whole figure is trembling. Seunghoon can see how tightly closed his fists are. It pains him to see his angel looking so broken but he wants to free him from his guilt and from all the connection that ties him down to him. He doesn’t want to stay a heavy weight in Jinwoo’s heart as long as he lives.

If only he is still stronger, he would have wrapped Jinwoo in his embrace by now. He wants to comfort him. He wants to wipe his tears. But every part of his weak body is protesting when he moves. So he just settles with brushing his fingers on Jinwoo's hair.

Eventually, Jinwoo's sobs subside. He takes Seunghoon's hand to place feather-light kisses at the tip of his fingers. Seunghoon realizes he's been missing Jinwoo's little acts of showing his affection all along. He feels warm despite the cool breeze brought by the setting sun.

Yebin comes back to take Seunghoon inside. It's growing colder outside which isn't good for his health. Jinwoo stays with him quietly, never letting his hand go. He helps in feeding him supper and tucking him on his bed.

He notices another man hangs around them all throughout the evening. He looks as young and dazzling as Jinwoo. His eyes never left Jinwoo as if he's afraid Jinwoo will break down anytime soon.

"Who is he?" Seunghoon asks.

Jinwoo shifts on his seat to look at the man who is standing by the door. "He's Seungyoon." Jinwoo utters his name with fondness. He swallows the lump in his throat before continuing, "My partner... for eternity."

Seunghoon smiles warmly at Seungyoon and gestures for him to move closer. Seunghoon reaches for Seungyoon's hand when he is close. "I am relieved he's been taken care of all these years. Thank you for giving him the love he deserves."

Seungyoon reciprocates the light squeeze of his hand as he smiles. Seungyoon looks at Jinwoo. "He isn't hard to love."

"I know." Seunghoon replies then also shifts his eyes to look at Jinwoo. "But he is hard to forget. You can't escape him."

"I won't even try."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Jinwoo scolds.

The three of them chuckle quietly. It was abrupt but Seunghoon feels happy to hear a laugh from Jinwoo once more.

"Thank you for waiting for him." Seungyoon whispers.

Seunghoon hums. "Knowing you'll be there for him give me peace of mind." He retracts his hands from both men. "I can rest now."

"No, no, no, no." Jinwoo looks all over him as he starts panicking and whimpering. "Seunghoon, please, stay with me. Don't. Not yet. Please. I-- I still want to make it up to you." He wants to reach out, to touch him but he doesn't seem to know where to put his hands.

Seunghoon is aware how breakable he looks now, far from the sturdy man he used to be. He is very happy to see Jinwoo one last time. It's like he has served his purpose. He feels lighter now despite his eyelids growing heavier by the seconds. He shakes his head. "You don't owe me anything but a smile. Please, smile for me."

Jinwoo stands up and rakes his fingers forcefully through his hair. Seungyoon is suddenly on Jinwoo's side to hug him and calm him down. He buries his head on Seungyoon's shoulder as he lets out a guttural cry.

Jinwoo pulls away and wipes his tears. He dries his face as he calms his breathing. He puts a light yet firm kiss on Seunghoon's forehead. When he breaks away, he stretches his lips to form the most sincere smile he can. "I love you. I really do until now."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He slept and didn't wake up the next morning.

Seungyoon feels useless as he can't seem to comfort a devastated Jinwoo. He knows what it feels like to lose a loved one as he lost his mother when he was young. But despite having gone through the same pain, he still doesn't know how to console another person. It's impossible as we all feel and deal with pain differently.

So he just stays with Jinwoo. When he mourns the next morning. When he holds Seunghoon's picture during the memorial service. Even when they come home and Jinwoo locks himself in their room.

It pains Seungyoon to see Jinwoo stares blankly while tears are continuously flowing down his melancholic face. He doesn't eat. He always sleep. He doesn't smile anymore. It is worse than the situation 64 years ago.

One night, Seungyoon wakes up to the sound of things breaking and Jinwoo shouting. He realizes Jinwoo is no longer by his side and afraid that Jinwoo encountered a burglar, he hurriedly runs downstairs. He is surprised to see the mess Jinwoo has made. He keeps on breaking Mino's art pieces as he shouts his name, calling Mino to show up. Asking Mino to end his life.

Jinwoo's eyes are livid yet lifeless. And Seungyoon is only left with wrapping Jinwoo in his arms as they cry together, Jinwoo's back pressed on his chest. At that moment, Seungyoon wishes they never met Seunghoon again, because if not for that, Jinwoo doesn't have to go through this suffering. Jinwoo never admitted it, but his greatest fear about staying with Seunghoon was probably seeing him die one day and that is exactly what happened.

"Seungyoon, I'm tired. I can't go on anymore. I can't keep losing people and myself." Jinwoo's legs give out causing them both to stumble and fall on the floor. But Seungyoon's tight and warm embrace does not falter.

"I understand, hyung." He cries and presses his face on the space between Jinwoo's neck and left shoulder.

"I'm sorry I'm weak. I'm sorry I can't keep my promise." Jinwoo keeps apologizing to everyone he lost in the past and to Seungyoon. He keeps apologizing until he falls asleep.

Seungyoon has to carry him to their room. He is so light after losing so much weight. He tucks Jinwoo on their bed then stares outside the window. He's also tired. Tired of seeing Jinwoo barely living. The past 64 years were bearable because Jinwoo was there to be with him. They were each other's reason to live, to love and to be happy. But now that Jinwoo is giving up, he can also feel his exhaustion at staying alive this long.

He feels the hairs on his nape stands before he sees the newly-lit fire on the far end of the backyard. He knows exactly who starts the fire. He brushes his fingers on Jinwoo's sleeping face before he gets up to head outside.

Seungyoon thinks it's because of his wish to be with Mino that made him connected to Mino in a strange way. He can always feel Mino's presence when he's around, even when he's a hundred meter away or in a crowded place, hiding. He always know when Mino is close by or within the vicinity. It's like his sixth sense is attuned to him.

And he knows that in all these years that Mino refused to show himself to him or to Jinwoo, Mino had been checking on them. Constantly yet randomly. Usually, Seungyoon would pretend he didn't see him, would not even tell Jinwoo they had walked past him in an intersection. Because he isn't stupid and he had understood a long time ago what Mino had been doing.

At first, he was hurt at the realization. He felt envious that there were at least three people in this world that loves Jinwoo unconditionally and more than they should. But he can never bring himself to hate Jinwoo nor Mino. Because despite everything, they are still the most important persons to him.

Seungyoon stops on his track a few feet away from Mino. He watches him as he throws broken art pieces to the fire. His body standing tall and strong, his face devoid of emotion but his eyes are tired and troubled. Something he has never seen in Mino before.

Seungyoon remembers the first time he met Mino. He was hopelessly at his lowest point. And he thought of ending his own life.

He was self-supporting ever since his mother died when he was in high school. He was grateful at the only relative he had who took him in despite their insufficiency to support another mouth to feed. He decided to be independent after high school. He got an academic scholarship in college and did a lot of part-time jobs to support his basic needs. But his studies suffered and got kicked out of the scholarship. He took a student loan just to continue his studies but lost his part-time jobs one by one. His life didn't seem to like Seungyoon. He was lost and insecure.

And that was the time Mino entered his life like a train unstoppable on its track.

Mino is an enigma that draws people's curiosity. His sharp features and dark eyes demand attention. But his dark aura sends shivers down your spine, a signal for you to run away or for you to challenge.

Seungyoon didn't want to be involved in any trouble, given how messed up his life already was. So he chose to stir away despite Mino's gravitational pull on his whole being. But Mino proved to be inescapable. Mino was the one who approach him and pursue him. It was overwhelming for a nobody like Seungyoon, but it was also empowering.

Then, his luck started to side with him. He earned a regular gig as a musician in an exclusive bar. He was scouted as a small time model for street wears. And he received different offers to become an apprentice of known photographers. At first, he thought he was whoring himself to Mino so he could keep him as a lucky charm. But when Seungyoon and Mino sealed the deal, Seungyoon was already madly and deeply in love.

It wasn't hard to fall for Mino, it was harder to stop himself from falling. He'd give Seungyoon the smallest yet the cutest smile when he found him silly. He would brush Seungyoon's hair or cheeks when he's complaining about studies or asshole he met. He would fuck Seungyoon as if he's taking away all the pain he had accumulated over his stressful and miserable life, making him feel wanted and secured. And Seungyoon would wake up in the morning seeing Mino drawing him on his sketchbook, serenely and with a tiny glimmer on his eyes. Everything Mino did for and with Seungyoon had given him peace of mind, warmth... and happiness.

He was happy and content with the drizzle of affection he received from Mino. And it was enough for him to hope for a lifetime with him. He still loves Mino, but it isn't burning now than it used to. It is a constant low embers, warm yet no longer consuming. Because his love for Jinwoo is more potent now. And Jinwoo with his big heart never fell short of raining him with love that isn’t destructive.

"Mino." He whispers, wanting his presence to be acknowledged.

Mino regards him and offers his hand. Seungyoon takes it and he is tugged to an embrace. Seungyoon encircles his arms around his waist. Their foreheads leaning on each other’s.

"You should let Jinwoo-hyung go."

Mino shakes his head. "How about you?"

"I will go, too."

Mino tightens his hold on Seungyoon. "Why?"

"You can't keep us forever just because you want to, Mino. We are only human, we're not meant to live for a very long time. This endless life is bound to make us go crazy." He presses a tiny kiss on Mino's neck. "Please, think about Jinwoo-hyung's struggle in the last hundred and eighty three years."

"But I--" Seungyoon feels Mino tense, he is having a hard time forming words. He gives up and remains silent.

Seungyoon pulls away and sits on the grass. Mino follows but Seungyoon gently leads his head on his lap. Mino lays on his side so he can watch the flames that engulf his broken art pieces.

"Mino, I know what you've been doing all along." Seungyoon starts as he gently brush his fingertips to Mino's hair. "You probably felt like you were losing Jinwoo-hyung a long time ago so you searched for someone who can be with him, so he could stay grounded. Then you found me and granted me eternal life. But it didn't go as you planned because Jinwoo-hyung met Seunghoon-hyung and they fell in love."

Mino couldn't be the one to stay, so he chose Seungyoon to be Jinwoo's lifetime companion. By disappearing in the picture, Seungyoon was led to Jinwoo. And the rest was history.

"Seungyoon," Mino shifts to look at him but a tear falls on his face that stops him from saying anything.

"Ah," Seungyoon covers Mino's eyes with his hands. "Don't look at me. I look pathetic right now."

“Seungyoon, I don’t know if it is what you’re calling love, but I do have this feeling for you.”

"I know, Mino. Jinwoo-hyung helped me realize that your love for me wasn’t just my delusion and I am thankful that you chose to love me, as much as you could." Seungyoon sniffs. "But you love Jinwoo-hyung more, you were clueless how to show it and he can be very dense most of the time." He chuckles a bitter laugh.

Mino holds Seungyoon's hands that covers his eyes. "I need you."

"We were tragedies from the very beginning. Lost causes. But you gave us second chances. Protected and cared for us. We are grateful and you should be proud of saving two lives. But you have to stop being greedy, Mino, you're now destroying us."

Mino gets up and lean close to Seungyoon to kiss him but Seungyoon stops him. "I belong to Jinwoo-hyung now." He looks straight to Mino's confused and hurt eyes. "He's my priority. And I won't betray him. You can't keep using the same tactics on me or on Jinwoo. You have to let us go."

Seungyoon comes back to Jinwoo's side. It's almost 4 o'clock in the morning. Jinwoo stirs in his sleep and scoots closer to Seungyoon, seeking his warmth. And Seungyoon burns for the last time.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

One day, Mino woke up knowing only two things about himself. He wasn't from this world and greed was coursing through his vein like a venom that could not kill him. He had no memory of his past life and of the world he was currently living in. He just knew he had to survive and corrupt as it was his nature.

Despite what most of them thought, Mino once had a heart beating strongly with his deadly sin.

He could not track time but he witnessed how the world kept changing and how people started to gather to form communities. And he wanted that.

He wanted to belong so he started interacting with people. He wanted comrades so he started protecting them. He wanted to rule so he built an empire. He wanted to be king so he rewarded them with their wishes.

But whenever he grants a wish, he would lose a bit of his heart. And once a wish was granted, they would disappear. They turned their backs and betrayed him. They dethroned and banished him. Mino was left with no choice but to kill them all. With blood on his hands, he decided he would never attach himself again.

Mino became a shadow in dark alleys preying on weak and greedy souls. He would corrupt them to bring chaos, egging them to destruct themselves for him. Asking for their soul was never an equivalent exchange as he had no use of those who would always turn away. But it was a collateral for his heart that grew smaller bit by bit over the years. He learned to restrict his heart to only those who were worthy of being kept around in this beautiful yet cruel world.

And after travelling the world all alone for so long, he found Jinwoo and he felt a strange warmth on his chest, where his heart was supposed to be.

Beautiful and breathtaking. Optimistic and courageous. Kind and steadfast. His smiles never failed to bring a smile to his mother's face. Despite of pain and sadness, he would still smile just to encourage those who were hopeless during the war.

Mino would always watch over him. He was afraid to offer him anything because it would mean tainting his soul and having him walk away from him.

Then the tragedy happened and he’d rather lose him while keeping him alive than letting him completely disappear from the face of the world. So he asked for his wish expecting him to beg for a second life. But it broke him when he just wanted to give up. The greed in him could not let him go so he gave him more than he asked for, which also took a bigger piece of his heart than normal.

He took care of him and nurtured him while distancing himself because he felt like he would stain Jinwoo more if he would stick around more often. But deep inside, Mino just wanted to be less lonely.

He desperately clung to Jinwoo. Did all he could so he wouldn’t leave. Turned a blind eye to Jinwoo’s greed. Turned Seungyoon into a replacement but eventually learned to love him. Tried to bargain with Seunghoon.

For the first time since Mino walked on this world, he sheds uncontrollable tears as he sets two paintings of flowers on fire.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jinwoo had a dream. It was spring and the blue sky is clear and free from clouds. The sun is bright but not enough to hurt the eyes. The breeze is cool but not enough to send chills.

He opened his eyes and there was an unending field of daisies surrounding him. He was lying under the shade of a big old tree at its center.

He turned his head to the direction where the sound of guitar is coming from. He saw Seungyoon singing with his eyes closed. He turned his head to the other direction and he saw Mino painting with a big smile on his lips. He felt a hand rumpled his hair and realized his head was resting on someone else's abdomen. He looked up to see Seunghoon reading a book while playing with his hair.

It was a beautiful day. And Jinwoo wished it wasn't just a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this until the end. You don't know how much happiness it brings me knowing you set aside your precious time for this work.
> 
> Actually, there was a fanfic festival for WINNER which started last May (I think, but my memory isn't reliable) and I submitted a prompt that goes like: "A Picture of Dorian Gray inspired AU. Mino as a demon who granted people's wish and Jinwoo asking for an eternal life." But a few nights later, I dreamt of this story and I couldn't take it off my mind. It felt like I would be heartbroken if this story does not see the daylight. So I drafted the first chapter and left it on my notes for a few days.
> 
> I was worried because this is my first time writing a story and with the current state of my mental health, I wasn't sure if I could finish this. You know, SO SO, what if it's just one of those moods? Because I tend to give up half-way when I am depressed despite wanting to do something that is new in my repetitive daily life. But as I grew sadder, I felt like I needed to channel my sadness somewhere else. So I continued bit by bit. 
> 
> But my worries proved to be accurate, I almost didn't finish this! The first four chapters sat on my notes for almost two months. I could not continue because I thought I was putting so much unnecessary heartbreak and sadness in the story. Funny how that depressed me even more when I'm supposed to be releasing it. But once I published the first four chapters in AFF and received support from my online and offline friends (shoutout to Aichi and Rashie! I LOVE YOU TO PLUTO AND BACK!) I felt motivated to finish the epilogue and finally close the curtain to this tragic story. And I'm sorry if I enjoyed too much in channeling my internal conflicts, troubled thoughts, deepest fears and desires to Jinwoo, Seunghoon, Seungyoon and Mino. I know, they all deserve so much love equally. TT.TT
> 
> To everyone who will like or dislike this, whether you were triggered or you empathized, please let's just be a little kind to ourselves. That's all. And again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
> 
> Sending four virtual blue hearts to all of you.


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